Psycho therapy is seriously screwed up; Religional too

First let me say I am starting to worry about Delores. You guys know who I’m talking about right? Dr. Saint Johnswort, the psycho therapist with all the early comments here to my blog. She wrote these very interesting comments in story form and each was filled with interesting stuff. I’m getting concerned that maybe I hurt her feelings or pissed her off.

That’s what I typically do. Since she seems to agree with my political positions, I likely hurt her feelings.

It might be all of the talk about Chelsea Handler’s camel toe. The entire camel toe dealie has gotten out of hand. Now these other sites are calling me to be a celebrity judge and asking me to “grade” the pocket poochies in photographs they send me. Go to www.guidespot.com/guides/celebrity_camel_toes and you can see what I mean.

I have agreed to do the grading but not judging. I think I have the skill set to grade but lack good judgment. When I was discussing this issue with Dr. Sam I. Am in my therapy session this morning and I told her about my thoughts as to the grading/judging stuff, she says to me, she said, “Well Mooner, looks like maybe therapy is doing you some good after all.”

“Whatthefuck does that mean?” I questioned.

Her only reply, with that shit-eating psycho therapist grin on her face was, “Think about it Mooner. You will figure it out.”

As much money as I pay for therapy, why do I have to figure everything out for myself? Seriously, what is up with that?

We don’t put up with that shit from anyone else. When I go to the auto mechanic because I can’t figure out what is wrong with my engine, and after an hour he says, “Well Mr. Johnson, I got this figured out and that will be $175.00.”

And then you say, “Well, Otis, what’s wrong with my car?”

And Otis replies, “Well, Mr. Johnson, what do you think is wrong?”

Then you say, “Are you fucking kidding me Otis?”

And then Otis says back to you, he says, “No, I am not kidding Mr. Johnson, the only way your car will ever get fixed is if you figure out what’s broken and how to fix it.”

After I finished bashing Otis in the head with his own 9/16ths open-end wrench- this one a Craftsman from Sears, I tell him, “After you figure out why I smashed your nose you can decide where to get it fixed.”

I don’t go to Otis’s shop anymore.

Anyway, maybe it is my ADHD/ADD or maybe I’ve sucked down too many Carta Blanca beers, but Sammy’s logic escapes me.

And look, I know it is “Dos Equis” beer and not “Dos XX”. But really, who gives a shit?

And did you guys know that Buddha is having his birthday? Like maybe he would be 9,485 years old today if he was still alive. And I have been spending quite a lot of time thinking about religion lately. Have you noticed that all religions are regional? What I mean to say is that all of these different Gods visit only small geographic areas when they visit.

Lends serious credit to my “One God” theory.

Theorem?

And since the two words, religion and regional, have just the one letter’s difference, do you think that just maybe this entire religion thing is just a typographical error?

I mean think about it. Back to when the only writing paper man had was a rock and his pencil was a chunk of sharp iron ore, we didn’t have any erasers. A scribe had to be mighty careful what he wrote down.

So maybe all of the ancient talk about “religion” was all started by some lazy scribe who misspelled “regional”.

Is that too deep for a bloggie post?

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6 Responses to “Psycho therapy is seriously screwed up; Religional too”

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    Thanks Free Lyrics.

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    Ugh, the dichotomy of it all.

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