Arizona Arrests Chinese Sarah Palin Impersonator; Still No Respect (Part 3)

Well it’s Friday and the end of the wonderful month of April 2010. I think it is time to do some more housekeeping- you know clear up any dangling modifiers and participles and confusions, all of which are my modus operandi. Why isn’t that “operandisses” or “operandum” since it’s plurals?

First, I’m four days into my don’t-bathe-or-teeth-brush garlic and onion diet program, the program I have instituted to insure that I get some respect and appreciation. This is the point where I gave in back when I was on an ice cream only diet. After four days of eating only Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla, I was having milk fat delusions and things ended badly.

I went nuts and ate an entire roasted goat. That particular dietary break would have been OK excepting for the fact that it wasn’t my roasted goat.

With this diet my worst problem is that I stink so bad I keep going catatonic from the smell of my ownself. I need to call the research guys over to our lab and see if maybe that would have a military use. New product development is one of my strong suits.

With all of the time I’m spending alone on this current diet, I have had the chance to catch up on many personal needs that went untended when I had been spending so much time helping others. That’s why I’m on this pungent diet and personal habits kick- nobody appreciates my good deeds. I fixed the gates on the stock pens and got some other chores done and then I caught up on my reading. Ugh!

Arizona, Gulf oil spill, Chinese crazy man, and Sarah Fucking Palin with her side kicked-in-head-as-a-baby asshole buddy, Little Ricky Perry.

Ugh, ugh, and ugh plus a giant Ick!!!

Arizona first. Let me get this straight- the police are now required to investigate any person who “looks” like they might possibly be an illegal alien and then arrest that person if they can’t show proof of citizenship. What brain dead moron dreamed-up this stellar bit of thoughtful legislation?

Oops, that would be the same religious backed right-wing Republican shitbirds who attended Mrs. Palin’s anti-abortion clinic here to Austin last night. The same guys except for they live to Arizona and last night’s audience live in our area.

And have you guys seen Arizona’s lady Republican Governor? Add ten years heavy aging in the desert and kill-off maybe 13 of Palin’s 41 active brain cells and you’ve got yourself an Arizona Governor.

The two of them make the California Republican Governor look like an intellectual giant with good communication skills.

I find it incredible that the same assballs whose ancestors stole Arizona from the Indians have passed a law that will have an Indian arrested if he carries no proof of citizenship.

The Gulf oil spill is just the latest wake-up call from Mother Nature. These giant oil production platforms out to the Gulf are monstrous rigs designed to extract huge quantities of oil and gas from beneath the seas. Any screw-up on one of these rigs is a major league problem. We need tighter regulations on the rigs and more importantly, better choices than oil to fuel our economy.

Looks like China doesn’t provide any better mental health facilities for their crazies than we do for ours. When you force antisocial people to live on the streets you’re going to have a little blow-back. This is one of those amazing dichotomies I see in politicians. My Grandmother, the nice one that isn’t Gram, was murdered- stabbed dozens of times by a crazy man maybe ten years ago.

The man had been recently released, again, from a mental facility. He got off his medications, lost his already perilous grip on Reality, and killed an old woman in her front parlor. He attacked her and slashed her dozens of times with a knife.

Where do I place the blame? On those dumbass Republicans who slashed the budget to care for crazy people in the fine state of Virginia a dozen years ago.

Of course, the Republicans blame the crazy man for acting crazy. Like the same as me getting angry at the Republicans for being shitballs excepting that I know that I’m crazy to expect anything else.

Take the charming Mrs. Palin and her silly speech here to Austin last night. She’s here to speak out against abortion, and the centerpiece of her speech is her Down Syndrome son, Trig. Now, if everyone will remember back to during the big election, when she was known as Republican Vice Presidential candidate Palin, her honorship was mightily pissed that the Press and the Democrats and the rest of us godless liberal heathens made any reference to her brood of kids.

Last night at the big pow-wow, Little Missy Self Righteousness is using those same children to cash $100,000.00 checks for personal appearances. In-fucking-credible!

Trig is the result of her pregnancy at age 43. To quote Sarah about Trig, she said, “God won’t give you what you can’t handle,” and, “God gave us only eyes to see Trig’s perfection.” Then she told us how she’s comfortable here in Texas because, “You’re not afraid to cling to your guns or your religion.”

God please help me because I don’t even know where to start.

OK, first, you were the Governor of a state and you are 43-years old and you got pregnant. Was that because you still haven’t figured out how you get with child, or was it that you felt you could outwit time and have a healthy child at that age. But given her high levels of understanding science and geography, go figure.

And as far as God only giving you something to handle and only seeing Trig’s perfection, who the fuck do you think you are fooling?

You don’t spend two days a week with the poor kid. I don’t think God would have meant that you would have somebody else “handle” Trig and that you would miss his imperfections because you never see anything of him. I think you are both ignorant and cruel.

You don’t have the good sense to practice birth control for yourself yet you want to control the choices for other women. You don’t seem to be able to provide adequate parenting for the kids you have yet you have another child as you did.

I keep waiting for you to have a cogent thought that you can verbalize. I look forward to that day.

And now, Texas Governor Rick Perry:

WARNING!!!WARNING!!!WARNING!!!

Pay attention to me America. Rick Perry wants to be the President of the United States and I am not shitting you. I have been trying to tell people this for years but nobody listens.

Please listen.

Rick Perry is George W. Bush except not as smart and more mean spirited. George’s daddy got him his lobotomy as a fourteenth birthday present. Rick’s lobotomy was self administered and routinely updated. I think how it works is that Governor Perry has a medical advisor, one with a few ounces of common sense, and this advisor travels in the entourage.

If little Ricky sames something intelligent, they whisk him back to Austin where they re-insert the silver spike into his pre-frontal lobe. Word here is that Perry has this permanent access plate there to the middle of his widow’s peak, kind of like when a person gets a stint installed for needles except this is bigger.

I think that’s why he always has that pretty boy haircut- it hides his access plate dealie.

And now I realize that I’ve just spaced-out two full days while writing this. Folks, I smell so bad the cockroaches have left the building. If I don’t some respect or appreciation soon-

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14 Responses to “Arizona Arrests Chinese Sarah Palin Impersonator; Still No Respect (Part 3)”

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