Luigi Fulk To Review Mooner Johnson’s Blog

Holy shit guys, Luigi Fulk wants to review my bloggie! The world famous, renowned and eloquent Internet commentator wants to review our dealie here. As Dr. Sam I. Am-Johnson would say, “Mooner, Luigi has good brain filters.”

That would mean that Luigi knows and can distinguish what is important from what is not, can say why the differences are so, and then Luigi can tell the rest of us what he thinks. Another way she would say it, she would say, “Luigi has a firm grasp on reality and can behave appropriately.”

Of course she would go on to say, “Unlike you Mooner, you inappropriate crazy redneck fuckball.”

Actually she doesn’t call me a fuckball to my face.

Last night, after I got the news from Luigi, I Googleated “Luigi Fulk” and spent maybe eleven hours reading some of his comments. Do you guys think maybe that Luigi Fulk is the name used by an entire company of commentators? Think about it. When does Luigi have time to sleep? He must spend every hour of the day reading and commenting.

Wait a second, it can’t be commentators can it? Maybe commentorers or in mod-speak it might be commentorz.

Anyway, he somehow managed to trip over one of my keynotes and I snagged him in my tangled website.

Shit, what if I am now offending Luigi because he isn’t a he? He could be a she and just a pretend he for safety sake or maybe he/she is even hiding from the law and not even named Luigi. Could be that Luigi is short for Luigianna or Louigisa or even Louigilamortacella. You know how Italians are with their long names.

Like Michaelangelo.

Shit again. What if Luigi isn’t even Italian and I’m now guilty of profiling because I’m a prejudiced prick?

Fuckballs.

Look, I don’t care if Luigi is he, she, it, was one and is now another- or Italian, Catholic, Baptist or even Scientologist. That’s a lie because I can’t tolerate anything about Scientology. But you get my drift.

I do care that Luigi is interested in my stuff enough to comment and contact me.

Of course when I told Gram about it she said, “Maybe he’s one a them poison pencil shitballs an he wants ta stab ya inna back.”

Then she added, she says, “I had me a night a good sexin with a Luigi this one time out to Marble Falls, Mooner. Or maybe his name was Joseppi or Ivan or Ricardo or it might was Gunter.”

When I pointed out to my grandmother that her confusion over the man’s name was confusing she said, “Aw, who gives a shit, Mooner, tha man was Eye-tal-yun.”

How do you argue with that?

Which brings up another problem because the e-mail address on Luigi’s comment is not active so I can’t get back to him that I would enjoy his interview and review. Maybe I’ve got a scammer spamming my bloggie with false hope of a Luigi Fulk review.

Or maybe Luigi is suffering from sleep deprivation from all of his commenting and he’s typographically errortizing his e-mail address and I’ll never hear from him again. I need a drink.

Thank God for Carta Blanca beer.

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2 Responses to “Luigi Fulk To Review Mooner Johnson’s Blog”

  1. Hey, your stuff is really strange but like it. I mostly agree with you and would like to see more karma here.Thanks and see you soon on your blog.:)

  2. admin says:

    Thank you Isiah.

    Shaunta wants passion and you would like karma. My breast heaves with unbridled desire to see Sarah Palin fall in love with a communist.

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