Another Hero- My Buddy Lloyd


So. I have repeatedly told you about my college buddy, Lloyd “Curtis” Lebow. He was, and always will be, Lloyd to me. He is the man I most admire, with George Takei and my dad a strong second. Interestingly, except for my father, the men I most admire are gay.

They are gay, and proud and unerringly decent men. Decent in every way where decency counts. Golden hearts, diamond sharp minds, and the desire to find the silver lining in any darkness, mark the treasures these men are to me.

Lloyd has started a blog- , and you should do yourself a favor and check him out. His most recent posting is his coming out story, and it’s a must read. As the brother of, and ex-husband to, gay women, I have heard many coming out stories. Some of those stories are remarkable. But Lloyd’s story is special.

Hell, all of his postings are must reads, so don’t just read this one.

This incredible man has a story of hope, and spiritualness and love that will open your eyes. I think his blog should be required reading for any person wishing to join a Christian church. Then, maybe, some fewer Christians will harbor the idiotic hatred of homosexuality that seems so rampant in their ideologies.

When I compare myself as a man, to Lloyd, I am embarrassed. When I compare myself to him as a human, I am ashamed. When I encounter a difficult situation, I usually get slapped, stun-gunned and arrested, or pitched into the Loonie Bin.

Lloyd deals with difficult situations with grace, and a selfless solution. When I think of how he has lived his life, I cry. Tears of appreciation for him. Tears of disappointment in myself.

In the last ten years, my only tears not spilled for a lost love one, have been spilled over my sense of what I lost by not staying close to Lloyd.

I let Lloyd escape from my life almost forty years ago. Not because he was gay, but because I have always been consumed with my own shit. I knew he was a good man, but I lacked the maturity to understand how he enriched me with his presence.

I wonder if I’d be a better man if I were gay. So many gay people share Lloyd’s traits that I often wonder if the DNA strands containing gay genes also carry traits for extra humility, and humanity.

Do yourself a favor. Read Lloyd’s blog. Be enriched.

When I get home tonight, I’m going to read Lloyd’s coming out story to Rush Limbaugh and Rick Perry. Maybe they can find the strength from Lloyd to come out of the closet themselves. And I’ll feel like I’ll have done what Lloyd would do.

I need a Carta Blanca beer to cry in.

Manana, y’all.

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