Maybe I Think F*** NaNoWriMo

 

So. I checked all of my Twitter jobbies and notice how much of the conversation is about NaNoWriMo. That’s short for National Novel Writing Month, the shitty idea of some deranged, frustrated writer to recruit as many other frustrated writers as possible to write complete novels in a month.

It’s as if agents and publishers don’t already have too many queries to review as it is. I mean, think about it.

What writer is going to crank out a minimum of 50,000 words in a month just to be a part of this group? Shitty writers, that’s who. Unpublished writers, those writers with axes to grind, ones needing close contact with others of their species.

And maybe stark-raving lunatics. Like me. And don’t go getting all pissy on me because I admit that, as a percentage, there will be a few quality individuals participating in this year’s event.

See, I’m thinking that if I notify all of the publishing professionals that I’m participating in this year’s event, maybe we can kill this silly shit. Think about it.

In the last year, I have completed my first book, I have written the first draft of the second and half of the third. I have written 375,000 plus words of bloggie postings, four hundred, or so, letters to the Editor, which account for another 700,000 words.

If you total all of that shit together, you get 27.1 books worth of words at the 50,000 word minimum.

Then, I’ll devise pen names for each of my 27 books (I’ll take the extra words and sprinkle them among the 27 submissions). At the end of the contest, I’ll write queries for each book and submit them separately to every author and publishing house.

Am I a devious shit or what?

But I won’t do that because our industry is already in a mess of almost overwhelming dimensions. I will only pray that each of the participating writers takes NaNoWriMo seriously and realizes that, without serious internal discipline, it’s a joke.

That is to say it’s a joke if not taken seriously.

I don’t know exactly how I feel about it. I say if you can’t take it seriously, then:

Fuck NaNoWriMo!

Drink Carta Blanca beer.

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