Sorry, But I Must Say, “Fuck Rick Perry!”


So. I want to apologize again for the mess my 19-question test dealie was. Is. Micro Soft Vista mixes with Word Press like a lit match in an over-sprayed beehive hairdo. My computer stupid added to the mess as well, but even my computer fixer-upper guy just shrugs his shoulders at Vista.

Here’s the deal. Texas Republican governor Rick “Little Ricky” Perry has decided to throw a wet blanket over the $27 billion state budget shortfall he has created by playing to his right-wing religious fan base. Instead of dealing with the worst budget shortfall of any state in the country, Little Ricky is pitching an “emergency” abortion bill to congress.

Our head Prick has pushed out the first bill of the session, and it goes like this. Before any woman can have an abortion, she must pay for a sonogram and then watch the pretty pictures and listen to the accompanying sound track.

“Women won’t be so quick to abort their children,” was the basics of the little pissant’s big close when he announced his important legislation.

No wonder his wife, Anita, always looks like she’s been catching it in the ass from a donkey. Have you ever seen photos of that poor woman? John Kelso did a funny piece in our paper to draw attention to her plights.

Me, I’ve been trying to get some sort of grip on the boy’s logic in this dealie. But all I can find is this. OK, you silly little man, if we want to make a woman look at a sound picture of her fetus before an abortion, then:

Why don’t we make you look into the eyes of every child in Texas before you enact legislation or budget cuts that reduce their school funding;

Why don’t we require you to spend a month sleeping in a cardboard box under a bridge before you make another cut to funding for the mentally ill;

How about we put you on a dumpster diet before you take away social programs that fund food stamps;

Let’s make you play nurse to sick children before you limit their ability to obtain health care coverage.

That little bastard wants to protect unborn fetuses in the name of God. In the name of God, man, grow a heart for those of us already here.

Where did the voter base that keeps electing this moron come from? How did the great state of Texas come to lose its moral compass? What in the hell has happened to my country?

It’s a wonder the people in other countries don’t like us.

Fuck Rick Perry.

I need a Carta Blanca beer. Manana, y’all.

Print Friendly

5 Responses to “Sorry, But I Must Say, “Fuck Rick Perry!””

  1. Sy says:

    This is the first I’ve heard of this. It’s amazing the things politicians spend most of their time thinking about when clearly there are more important issues…
    great read. I look forward to more!
    – Sy

  2. I. think. I. love. you.

  3. admin says:

    Thanks, Sy. Please come back, and pass this trash along.

  4. squatlo says:

    Mooner, baby, I think I’ve been a bad influence on you, man. I used to come over here and read these nonsensical rantings and wonder how you functioned in the real world, and only during your parting shot would you blast Rick Perry. Now, you’ve come over to my place, read my political rants, and suddenly you’re making sense, with salient points and INCREDIBLY astute analogies between Perry’s actions and Perry’s words.
    If I didn’t know you better I’d swear you’ve been hiding ‘brilliant’ behind all the bullshit.

    Best post ever. I just read a news clip about the sonogram thing on Crooks and Liars and was inhaling for an extended rant, but you’ve knocked the wind out of me. I couldn’t have said it better if I worked on it all damn week…

    Listen, if you’re gonna start taking things seriously, I may as well fold up my little blog and start a humor column.


Leave a Reply