Mooner’s Logical Thought On Abortion; FRP


So. Here in the great state of Texas, the first Emergency Legislation of this year’s session has passed the Senate. My regular readers know that in Texas, an Emergency Bill is defined as a bill wherein, “The issues resolved by the measure are grave matters in need of immediate actions to be taken with great alacrity.” [that would be my interpretation]

With a state budget shortfall projected to be as much as $27 billion for the next two years, thinking people (persons?) [except those few thinking people (persons?) living in Texas] would guess that the first Emergency Bill would be budget-related in some fashion or another. That would make a huge amount of sense and be quite logical, right?

Wrongo, balanced thinkers, wrong-fucking-O!

See, here in Texas the most important issue for the next two years is to require any woman who wants to have an abortion to develop an intimate relationship with her unwanted sperm-pierced egg. That’s right, a woman must pay for a sonogram, which she must then watch while listening to her stomach noises during the procedure. That’s right.

Justification? In the last several years, Texas has averaged 80,000 abortions per year, and that’s by-God too many.

Now, I ask to to put aside the reality that 80,000 is not a big statistical number from a population of approximately 25 million. And forget that many of those abortions were had by teenage girls with no effective how-not-to-get-knocked-up education. And ignore the fact that our federal legislators want to cut all funding for the most effective sex education services in America, Planned Parenthood.

Forget all that silly factual shit because your buddy Mooner has figured a simple logic tree to (maybe) make sense to our [apparently] brain dead right-wing Christian legislators. Are you ready?

Here’s my logic tree. It’s like a giant Sequoia, you know not many branches except near the top, but impressive as all hell.

  1. Abortions are performed when a woman has an unwanted pregnancy.
  2. If the pregnancy is unwanted, guess what? This means that:


Maybe I stuttered, maybe the point is unclear so I’ll say it a different way:

Over the last several years, the smart women of Texas have reduced the number of unwanted children by 80,000 per year. Basically, that’s a million every twelve years.

Wow! Way to fucking go, smart Texas women!!!

Thank God we won’t have all of those babies born unwanted, and especially now. Because guess what else? The first Texas budget cuts are to the social services agencies that will be responsible for providing health care and education to many of those unwanted kids and their baby-mommas.

But little Mister Rick Perry wants us to birth more unwanted babies and care for them with fewer resources. I guess that would be the same logic he uses when he decides to improve public education but fictionalizing our textbooks.

See why I need so much Carta Blanca beer?

As Squirt likes to say, “Baiser Rick Perry!”

Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “Mooner’s Logical Thought On Abortion; FRP”

  1. Squato says:

    Moonie, you and I both know that if abortion were no longer necessary (if a magic wand could be waved eliminating ALL unwanted pregnancies right now and forever!) the right would fight to keep that magic wand from being waved. That’s right, they’d WANT unwanted pregnancies to continue (they must, since they gut funding for family planning, birth control, sex ed) because they profit politically from the abortion issue. It drives the Bible Thumpers to the polls like a shuttle bus in dusty binders, and gives them a limitless source of campaign donations. A magic wand that prevents all unwanted pregnancies would be hugely popular on the Democratic side of the aisle and hugely unpopular among Christian Repubs. Go figure.

    This is the toughest social issue of our time, and I can easily see why people are so passionate about it on both sides. But here’s the hypocritical part of it that always makes me question the reasoning of either side: Why are the folks who believe so firmly in the sanctity of life always the ones showing up at the prisons to cheer on the execution of the condemned? After all, wasn’t Jesus a victim of capital punishment wrongly administered?
    On the other side, why are the people who support abortion usually the same people who oppose the death penalty, because it’s barbaric, arbitrary, and subject to be administered in error? That’s where I am… the guy who supports a woman right to choose, but thinks the death penalty is just fucking wrong. And I’m conflicted about that seemingly apparent conflict.

    What I can’t get my head around is the way the same people who oppose abortion also think they have no further responsibility for the unwanted child after the birth they’ve insisted upon. Is their compassion only limited to the time between conception (and wiping up the mess) and birth (and wiping up the mess)? After that, the little bastard and his mom are on their own? I’ve been listening for how this fits into that book of theirs, but since we only keep non-fiction here in the house I can’t look it up myself.

    Have a beer, Lone Star Stater. You can’t fix Texas. (or was it “you can’t fix stupid”? I always get those two mixed up…)

    BTW, Reckmonster is gonna come by here and write a book any minute. I’ve inspired a serial seriousness in that beautiful woman you’re gonna love~!

  2. admin says:

    Squat. Why are your points more meritorious than mine. Can I get you to ghost write for me?

  3. Oh, mother BITCH! More serious shit…you know I gotta throw my 23 cents in!! Look, we all know it takes two to “tango” – but the truth of the matter is that women bear the brunt of carrying the shit stick when it comes to an “unwanted” pregnancy. If it were really “fair” we’d figure out a way to have men’s sperm frozen and unable to penetrate eggs until they decide they “really” want to have kids. That way every time a man jizzed, it would be like shooting blanks. But, since THAT’S never gonna happen (and men are NEVER going to like the latex alternative), the majority of responsibility for preventing unwanted pregnancies falls on women. In that vein – women are also the ones who get to bear the “stigma” and ostracizing when it comes to dealing with the unwanted pregnancies. To pour salt in the wound and have state-mandated sonograms BEFORE an abortion procedure (and at the woman’s cost!)? Fucking medieval, man. How many mother fuckers out there still drive without licenses or insurance? Are we THAT cruel to them?! And they are LAW BREAKERS. We’re just talking about horny folks (for the most part) who made dumb decisions. But what about the abuse or rape cases? Or what about the responsible people who were just some unlucky fucks who were in the 0.1% of folks whose chosen method of contraception failed? Let’s torture those women even MORE and denigrate them and encourage them to take a huge self esteem hit…and likely scar them for life. Because face it, I don’t think you will ever find ONE woman on the face of this earth who would say she “enjoyed” having an abortion. It’s a mental mind fuck as well as a physically “not so fun” time. Texas seems to be making leaps and bounds BACKWARDS into the dark ages.

    I, myself, would never choose to have an abortion, for my own very deeply personal reasons, but I know plenty of people who have had them , and have done so for THEIR own personal reasons. Nunamybusiness. Just like it’s none of Texas’s business. Keep your laws OUT of my va-jay-jay.

    And a note to Squat – even though I am RABIDLY pro-choice – I am also rabidly pro death penalty. My biggest beef with the death penalty is the amount of money spent on appeals and how much it COSTS to keep someone on death row before they actually carry out the death sentence. And if a prisoner CHOOSES to stop the appeals process and WANTS to die, then, mother fuckity fuck fuck fuck…let the bastard die. See? I told you, I’m left, I’m right, I’m all over the damned place!!

  4. admin says:

    Reck. The Texas state legislature is everything you have imagined them to be. However, I regret to tell you that more than a handful of the proponants of this sonogram bill are females of our species. Ladies? Certainly not, and I don’t even think of them as women.

    Again let me say it. These fuckballs are governing our lives based upon their religious beliefs. So please join me when I say,


  5. Squato says:

    Hey Reck, what’s this “latex alternative” of which you speak? I might wanna order one… do they come in assorted colors and shapes?

    The death penalty thing (and Texas is king of the hit-em-in-the-head-with-a-brick philosophy) bugs me because it’s uncorrectable. There have been innocent men exonerated from death rows all over America. It’s arbitrary, tends to be enforced more for blacks and minorities than for whites, in disproportunate numbers to both society and prison populations, and is far more expensive than life without parole (which can be corrected if proof of innocence is found after conviction).

    The pro-choice this is definitely at risk with the troglodytes we’ve sent to the statehouses and to DC in the last election.
    Mooner! We’re gonna knock all the funny right off of Reckmonster’s ass if we don’t lighten it up and give her something happy to say… I think we should have a twenty-four hour “silly shit” rule, and nothing of consequence can be discussed. Starting next week, ’cause I’ve just thought of something serious that pisses me off…

  6. admin says:

    Squat. Silly Shit is my middle name. Having said that, I’m going to reprint a little sumim-sumin for the Reckster. Then, silly shit.

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