The De-civilization Of Texas; Fuck Rick Perry


So. Yesterday was a big day for the state of Texas. Yes-siree-Bob, it was a mighty big day indeed! I found out that all of my hand-wringing and concerns over the state of my state was unwarranted.

I needn’t have worried about a $27 billion budget shortfall having any negative effects on things here ’bouts. Un unh, nope, I was worrying my little self crazy for no reason a’tall. Here I am all concerned and shit that my school systems, mental health care system, food stamp and child protection and elderly care systems would be re-gutted by an uncaring, right-wing religious governor and state legislature.

I’ve spent the last month bitching about how Little Ricky Perry plans to gut the civilization right out of Texas, and it was all for naught. Senseless, unnecessary concerns.

See, yesterday was the big day for our governor– it was State of the State Address day. Yesterday was the Rickster’s big day. I thought the boy’s speech would be full of his ideas of how to deal with our budget shortfall and other trivial issues and such. But boy was I wrong. I feel like such an idiot.

Nope. In his State of the State yesterday, Texas governor Rick “Are You Gonna Believe Me Or Are You Gonna Believe Your Eyes?” Perry delivered an incredible, upbeat speech. That’s right, and to quote the boy to be sure I get it right, “The mainstream media and big government interest groups are doing their best to convince us that we’re facing a budget Armageddon. Texans don’t believe it, and they shouldn’t, because it’s not true. Are we facing some tough choices? Of course, but we can overcome them by setting priorities, cutting bureaucracy, reducing spending and focusing on what really matters to Texas families.”

What budget problems? All we really need to do is put Texas families first.

I am such a total fucking idiot. I yesterday discovered that I don’t have the first clue about economics. See, as a businessman, I have this tendency to want to pay for my stuff as I go. As an employer, I feel compelled to provide continuous coverage on every program and promise I make my employees. As a Son, ex-husband, father, brother and family patriarch, I have an unerring drive to take care of all my dependents. As a man, I feel that my budget must include line items to provide assistance to those less fortunate than I (me?).

To my way of thinking, I am a civilized man. A crazy, ADHD-addled and totally inappropriate civilized man. Living to the full measures of my responsibilities and promises is what makes me a civilized man.

It’s what makes me a man.

When we Americans threw down the gauntlet and revolted against our Mother Countries’ tyrannies in the 1700’s, we were fighting against political systems that lorded-over their populaces. Good health and prosperity were reserved for the gentry’d few, religious dogma was used to control thoughts and laws, power was focused in the hands of men who believed that God had chosen them.

Rick Perry and his ilk are de-civilizing Texas. His brethren across the country are likewise cutting the soul from their states and on the national level in DC. It seems as though America’s going to complete the circle from incivility to civility, and back again, in record time. Soon, our governor will be installing Taliban-like education systems.

“Oh, Mooner,” you say. “Mooner, my man, you are going too far!”

OK, let me offer up this bit of evidence. The highlight of the little man’s higher education plan is: “Develop bachelor’s degrees that cost no more than $10,000 including textbooks.”

I can budget that one for you. Textbooks: one each King James Bible (fully annotated with all of Jesus’ and God’s words in pretty colors, leather-bound, engraved with the student’s name, has that nifty family tree dealie in the front, sized at 81/2” X 14” and made with that super-high quality paper) $250. Classroom: Bible study room rental (three hours per week for ten weeks) $300. Instructors: $1,000. Tithing: $8,450.

WTF? Seriously, what the fuck? Only in Texas can we view a college degree for $10,000 as a good thing. I guess what we want to do is devalue the worth of real educations the same way we devalue intelligent thought.

But hold on Mooner. Didn’t Ricky’s quote, above, tell you that he’s focusing on what matters to Texas families? In that perspective, a college degree for $10K is a good thing. If we’re going to cut 25% of school funding to schools whose in-house budget are 25% in the red already, how will we educate students who can qualify for entrance into market-rate universities?

I have so much more to say about the state address, but I must stop now. I’m beating a horse that seems to have died during the George W. Bush governorship. But I offer one last bit of thought fodder.

Why is Egypt in turmoil? Why is Mexico a massive crime scene of violence and death? Why do populations all over the world sleep in fear every night?

Is it because some atheist political party is oppressing them?

Need Carta Blanca beer. Now!

Manana, y’all.

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4 Responses to “The De-civilization Of Texas; Fuck Rick Perry”

  1. Squatlo says:

    Love the breakdown of the 10 grand degree, Mooner. Maybe you spent a little too much on the classroom. They can read the good book in their tent down by the Pecos…

    Hey, when are we starting this dual bloggie that ThunderPussy wants to pay us to post? I’ll start the conversation, you respond, I’ll bitch about your response, you can make fun of the alcohol fetal Tennesseans, etc. Should be fun and profitable. Should we check her credit before we do any actual work?

    Or we could just play chess by blog. I’ll go first: King’s Pawn turns and stabs King. Game over. Another successful coup!
    Don’t nobody beat a one move mate! (Wait, was that a double negative? Double Negatives are a No-No… or would that four negatives? I’m so confused…)

  2. Whitney says:

    I’m really impressed that you know who your governor is.


  3. admin says:

    And you are not easily impressed. OK, now go write a bloggie posting, for shitsakes!

  4. The De-civilization Of Texas; Fuck Rick Perry « Mooner Johnson…

    Here at World Spinner we are debating the same thing……

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