Ugh! Don’t Read This


So. I have been sitting in front of my monitor for eleven straight hours. Except timeouts to pee and a visit I paid to Squatlo’s site for inspiration, I have been sitting here attempting to write cogent thoughts.

The net results of my endeavors today are hidden in a 7,396-word unintelligible Word document. I have tried to read it and it scares me.

My ADHD has been so out of control that I can’t string two cogent thoughts together. I started to just post what I did and damn the torpedoes.

Then I thought about how I have come to know and respect most of you and decided that it would be unsafe to our friendships to subject you to it. I have decided instead to send it to Texas governor Prick Perry.

I am unclear what has caused the severity of this brain manglement, I am unsure why this is so severe. For the first time in many years I find myself unable to even put into words what is different this time.


Anyway, I’m going to go get the Squirt from Dr. Sam I. Am’s house and we’re going fishing. Watching almost-my-dog Squirt vibrate on the fishing pier as she waits at high alert for one of our red-and-white plastic bobbers to show a nibble always calms my fevered brains.

Maybe just getting out in the fresh air will help.

I know that the state of my state government fuels much of the static in my brainwaves. I know that reading about the bonus structures for companies that were bailed out of financial disaster with public funds agitates my already frayed synapses.

And I have now epiphanized the answer to my current problem. I’m not just crazy, I’m mad. I’m mad as all fucking hell. I’m sick to death of sycophantic legislators sucking Christian right-wing dicks and ruining the fabric of my country.

I think I’m extra crazy today because I feel I am politically inert. With low morale, high ignorant-valued governments in place everywhere, I just feel infertile.

Ugh, and again.

Man am I a fucking downer today. I don’t even want a Carta Blanca beer, for shitsakes.

OK, maybe a couple. Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “Ugh! Don’t Read This”

  1. Awww! Don’t feel like you’re a downer homie! This is what blogging is for! To vent frustrations and to reach out to others who have the same problems as you. Someone out there is googling you for inspiration as well 😉 Keep that in mind 😉

  2. Mooner, maybe you should get the funk out of Texas for a little while. Go visit another fucked up state to see that Texas ain’t alone… As you know, Squat and I could host you for one of the right-wing anti-mosque rallies we have here locally. Good times, man, good times. I also hear that MS, LA, AR and most of the other southern states suck big fat hairy donkey balls, as far as “common sense” goes. Maybe you and Squirt should take a road trip and do like a blogging journal of all of the fucked up places you encounter – in the way that only YOU can describe! 🙂 I also highly recommend switching beers every now and then…I think this week’s beer is Abita’s Strawberry Harvest Lager. Try it. X’s and O’s, man!!!

  3. admin says:

    Reck. Thanks for the thoughts. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself and shit. I’m working on a little sumn-sumn to get myself out of Funky Town. Post it by the am.

  4. Squato says:

    I ALSO think a road trip is in order. Our mountain chalet is not until after Easter (whenever the fuck THAT is) and I’m already stir crazy up in here, too. The grass will soon need mowing, and I’ve not taken the deck off the mower or sharpened the blades, nothing! Too busy keeping an eye on fuckwads and politicians to do anything remotely interesting.

    But Mooner, if you ever come trolling through Tennessee, give me and Reckem a heads up and we’ll alert the media of your impending arrival. Newsworthy shit like that makes life interesting again!

  5. Squato says:

    Hey, your own Governor tried to verbally annex Juarez yesterday, surely THAT’S worth a rant, right? We heard Mexicans were rioting in the streets at the prospect of being instant Texans… There’s just so much you can ask of a downtrodden people.

  6. admin says:

    Squat. Thanks for the invite. Is the spare bedroom closet large enough to hide my gay pig and ostrich? I feel compelled to travel with those two miscreants to protect Rush Limbaugh and Rick Perry from Gram’s ire.

    As for the real Prick Perry, yesterday’s inspired zoning accross international borders is nothing less than little Ricky’s revisionist history knowledge at play. “Thomas Jefferson– tall guy from way back; Jaurez, Mexico– San Antonio’s new suburb.”

    I think what the little prick likes about Mexican border towns is that every person has a pistola on his person.

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