A Hacked Blog Story; Thanks For Hanging

So.  I think the webber glitches with my bloggie are fixed. I hope the webber glitches with my bloggie are fixed. My designer got into it and decoded and recoded all over the place, and it seems that it is back to what it should be.
 In an effort to provide a Public Service to other bloggers, let me tell you what happened to me. I was invaded with Trojan horses and a worm some months back. Somehow, I noticed something amiss at the instant the invasion started. I heard my processor clicking madly when it should have been lying quiet, and I tried to move my mousie to place the cursor on a click point and it was dead.
 I must have a primeval survival response signal buried deep within my ADHD-addled brain that says, “Computer clicks inappropriately + mousie no moves cursor = SHUT THE FUCKING COMPUTER DOWN!!!”
 I shut the machine down by ripping the power cord from its A/C plug. When I started it back up, it was a mess. I got my regular fixer guy over to see what was what, and he found the invader programs. He cleaned them out and went about repairing what he could find, but he isn’t a Word Press or I-net guy and he had no way to vet my website properly.
 Crash.
 My site crashed. I had my guy back over and he was able to get things scrubbed-up and operating again, and all seemed well. Then, over the last month, all sorts of weird shit started happening. My CAPTCHA program started providing copy screens that looked like a drunk peed Greek in the snow with black urine. The more times you requested another copy screen the more illegible the screen became.
 Then, you’d take your time as a reader and carefully craft a (usually) intelligent comment only to have the comment counter register your effort by adding one to the total, but your comment never showed on the site.
 Next, and listen carefully to this part because it might not be Word Press specific. On some computers, my latest posts display instantly. On others, the latest displayed post displayed would be days old, not the newest.
 And if that isn’t strange enough, on some computers you could try with Google and have everything all fucked up, but open my site with Explorer and everything was peachy– the latest post displayed and all of the comments showed in their correct spots.
 I don’t even know what my web designer did to fix it. It was some corruption of the Word Press coding or widgets or some shit. But if you will clean your cache and browser thingies, my webber and bloggie should be back to 100%.
 Thank you for hanging in with me. If you experience an invasion like mine, I’ll give you my guys name and maybe he can help you.
 Which brings me to this. I am firmly against the death penalty. Too many mistakes are made with charges and sentences in those cases. We must stop killing innocent people by chosen error just to be certain we kill the guilty. One mistake eradicates the correctness of all others.
 Except for this. I think computer hackers who hack as an act vandalism should be hung by the balls until dead. Or the tits, as appropriate.
 I wish I had allowed my computer to die, as was the intent of the hacker(s) who invaded it. My problems would have been limited to a simple starting over with a new computer purchase, loading of clean webber and bloggie software, and a kiss goodbye to murdered data.
 In several days time, I’d have been up and running again and my suffering limited to memories of lost contacts.
 Fuck computer hackers, and FUCK PRICK PERRY!
 Ugh. Six am and I need a Carta Blanca.
 Thanks for hanging guys. Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “A Hacked Blog Story; Thanks For Hanging”

  1. Streaker Jones says:

    Bout fucking time.

  2. Squatlo says:

    In a perfect world (one with whirled peas?) we’d be able to hook up an arc welder to our computer cable and send a few hundred thousand volts back down the line to the asshole who hacked us… But we don’t live in a perfect world. If we did, people wouldn’t invent Trojan programs or busy themselves planting the seeds of their diseases in our computers. They’d be out tending the ganja crops and providing oral sex services on street corners. For all I know, that’s what they do when they’re not writing Trojan programs or poisoning our wells of creativity.

    Glad to be back in Moonerland, it was cold and lonely in the real world.

  3. YAY! Bout damned time. =)

  4. No, my dear, the shit isn’t quite fixed all the way. I go to the “blog” section of your site and some old post pops up; I have to actually click March’s archives to get the most recent post to show up. And yes, I cleared the cache and ate all of the cookies and all of that good shit. SO, even though your site causes me the kind of pain that requires tucks pads, I still have an AWARD for you on my bloggie. Check it out when you get a chance.

  5. No, my dear, the shit isn’t quite fixed all the way. I go to the \blog\ section of your site and some old post pops up; I have to actually click March’s archives to get the most recent post to show up. And yes, I cleared the cache and ate all of the cookies and all of that good shit. And now it’s pulling the same shit with not posting my comment when I click \submit comment\ after entering the nazi fucking captcha.

    BUT, even though your site causes me the kind of pain that requires tucks pads, I still have an AWARD for you on my bloggie. Check it out when you get a chance.

  6. lmfao woo hoo! Glad it’s working right now! I would want to comment on every one of your posts, but the comment system was so screwy I stopped… now… ON WITH THE STALKING!!!! LOL

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