@Reckmonster Inspires Lie; Drink Carta Blanca Beer

 

So. Somebody needs to explain Twitter to me. How in the FUCK do people find a person on twitter?

I’m not talking about how the @Reckmonster found me, that one I understand. The Reck is in love with me, in a virtual sense, and is quite desirous to have sweaty virtual sex with my studly virtual self.

I very much get it that a woman with said motivations can do anything.

OK, that was a lie. I want to have sex with Reck, as evidenced by my continual sex dreams wherein she is the main attraction. The booty-luscious ninja-woman puts up with my crazy ass only because she is a mental health professional and likely worries I might be dangerous.

I don’t understand why people lie. I have worked hard all my life to be a good liar with no more success than a chain-smoking bomb builder. Every time I get a good lie all structured and set in place, it explodes in my face. I don’t mean the lied-to personages catch me lying, I mean my brain blows up.

I can’t stand anybody who lies for personal gain, and that includes me. When I tell a lie my ADHD-addled brain automatically focuses all of it attentions on me having told a lie and punishes me with guilt. Pecker-numbing, blinding guilt.

Guilt that rapidly becomes self hate.

Ugh.

I want to be a liar, I just can’t be one. Like I think I’d make a great President but Presidents are supposed to be “of sound mind”. That’s a fucking joke, but unlike many of our past Presidents, I couldn’t lie about the sound mind dealie. Therefore, and ipso facto, I can’t run for the office.

Ugh, again.

Anyway, I keep having people sign up as Twitter followers but they only stay for a day or so and then they go away. What is it that so attracts them to me that they take the drastic measure and go to all of the effort required to push the “Follow” button, when all they do is endure the ordeal of pushing the “Un-follow” button a day later.

Last time I counted, I’ve had something like 3,000 Twits following me at one time or another. But currently, at least this morning, my list sits at its standard twenty-three. I know there was this one church lady who was drawn to my site by a story I told about my father. It was mostly free of cussing and had some heart-felt sentiments that I’m told made people cry.

Old bitch had apoplexy after reading my next posting wherein I discussed my giant ass fissure and attendant stanky butt. That whole dealie might be another redo posting series.

Computers and the entire ether-inter-world are a mystery to me.

Makes me want to drink Carta Blanca beer.

Anybody have a suggestion?

Manana, y’all.

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11 Responses to “@Reckmonster Inspires Lie; Drink Carta Blanca Beer”

  1. Squatlo says:

    Can’t help you with the Tweeter thing, Mooner. I thought that was just for fancy phones… can you do it over a computer, too? See, I’m an idiot… life’s too damn complicated as it is without adding another addiction.

  2. Theo says:

    Hi it’s Theo from Squnt’s blog (look up the definition of Squnt in the Urban Dictionary) from over at the Squatlo Rant. I wanted to drop by and give you a nice “fuck you too “you schizo douche-noozle! I must say your blog is quite the little ghost town. There are actually more people that think Obama is a true American citizen than are reading this blog…. After looking through the complete “word salad” that you have scrawled here I am pretty suprised that you have 23 followers, it is either a mistake and you’re reading it wrong or your mom hit the button 23 times…. I’m trying to make heads or tails of what you are trying to convey here and your mental masterbation all over these web pages leads me to believe that you have been practicing auto erotic asphyxiation far too long…. you’ve got to let what’s left of your brain cells get at least some oxygen… be careful remember what it did to David Carradine and Michael Hutchence the lead singer for INXS….. So how long have you and Squnt been giving each other reach-arounds?? It’s really funny how you lick his ass in the comments sections of his blog but then I don’t judge. I am suprised that you were never curious as to why he never posted my comments. He likes to label people that disagree with him as homophobic (you think his “wife” knows) or as trolls…. which is what most progs do… Bye for now “Mooner” and am sure that you are “bending over” for more reasons than just “mooning” people……

  3. Squatlo says:

    yep, you got yourself a troll, Mooner. He’s a good one, too. If he could make it through one of his rants without three or four homophobic references (which he’ll deny having made, by the way) I’d let him rant on my blog. He’s not half stupid, which makes him a lot more entertaining than most trolls, but unfortunately, he’s got no creativity for his how material. He might be a good commentator on Faux News someday with all of his made up statistics, though.

    Take his rants over to your psycho-therapist and let her figure his kinky little ass out for you. I bet he’ll post under various names once he figures out that he’s not welcome…

  4. Theo says:

    Squnt… shouldn’t you be over at your very lonely, reader impoverished blog passing along brain dead lib-prog talking points that were outlined for you on MSNBC? I can see why you would gravitate towards MSNBC with it’s very progressive cast which includes the pathological liar and sexually ambiguous man-woman, the alcoholic wife beater who shot his own hunting dog in a drunken rage, the unrepentant socialist and the fired failed sports caster along with others….. of course you do remember that MSNBC’s parent company GE got billions in stimulus money from the Obama administration (to build more reactors for Japan??) and so they will always be MORE than fair and balanced towards the Dems. (Read: won’t bite the hand that feeds them) But I digress as this is Moonies blog afterall. He went up several notches on the “Respect-O-Meter” as he at lest has the courage of his convictions and will actually post dissenting views even if they are potty mouthed. While you on the other hand enjoy your own little of version of the Fairness Doctrine and keep “moderating” your comments. Funny how preach “Tolerance” but practice “Moderation” It’s all the contradictions in your life that probably contributed towards your schizophrenia……

  5. Streaker Jones says:

    Mooner. Why’d you have to attract the flies? This boy Theo seems to have a mommy issue. Maybe we can help him and suggest several psychotherapists for him to call. What’s a noozle?

  6. Theo says:

    @Streaker…… A “noozle” is like a nozzle (see second definition in the Urban Dictionary) and don’t act all coy we all know you’ve been sticking both up your rear end for some time. Attracting flies seems to be a step up from the progressive parasites showing up here…..

  7. Theo says:

    Streaker… A “noozle” is like a nozzle (see second definition in the Urban Dictionary) and don’t act all coy we all know you’ve been sticking both up your rear end for some time. At least attracting flies is a step up from the progressive parasites………

  8. OMG! Theo, you as-yet-unidentified-sexually-transmitted-disease! How DARE you insinuate that my future fiance swings in a direction that is anywhere but towards ME. As his soon-to-be 12th wife, I can assure you, he is exceedingly infatuated with ME, as I am a super cute, kick ass, smarty pants chick. And you also insult my big brother Squat??? No manners. What we have here is a fundamental disability to disagree with any kind of decorum. Look, do you HAVE to be so ridiculously rude on someone else’s blog just because you don’t like what they have to say? If you don’t like it – don’t read it. Unless you’re suffering from some type of Axis II Personality Disorder – then, I could totally understand why you do it. But, I wouldn’t touch your therapy case with a twenty foot latex covered pole, so I won’t even begin to speculate what you have going on in that nugget of yours. Since I don’t know you, I’ll ask you nicely ONE TIME – please stay the fuck off of Mooner’s blog (I said please, so that is being nice – for me). I’ll trust that you fancy yourself some sort of gentleman and will refrain from taking your pot shots at me – but since I’m a realist, I know that you’ll probably continue to engage in your nefarious behavior. But – I did say please. That’s all the nice you get from me.

  9. Where is my comment, Mooner?! I defended your fucking honor and issued serious threats… Did it disappear into virtual unreality?!

  10. Theo says:

    Dear “Hose-Monster,” (Urban Dictionary definitions #2-6) Mooner here can fight his own battles. Your pathetic attention seeking posts sure don’t help his cause. From reading what you wrote one can easily tell that you are both self absorbed and ego protected. So no matter what anyone says about you, you’ll just rationalize it away in your small head that” it doesn’t really apply to you.” What a nice little protective mechanism you have. Were you born with it or did you have to create it out of necessity after years of continued failure?? You must either be (1) so glad that narcissistic personality disorder has been removed from the DSM so that you don’t have to blame yourself for not having any friends or (2) you are so sad that narcissistic personality disorder has been removed from the DSM because now you won’t be getting a disability check from the state anymore….. However, we all thank you for not mentioning the use of your strap-on when you made that 12th wife comment… but I digress again… “Hose-Monster” before you go off (dare I say it) “half cocked,” you should ask yourself (because I am sure you talk to yourself a great deal) why I stopped by? Well you must have seen that “Fuck Theo” comment on Squnt’s Blog ole Mooner made. But it probably didn’t even register in your narrow prog-demented mind because progs are completely oblivious to their own name calling. But when they are ridiculed in the same way and in the same measure, progs all scream and cry and have their periods together! Progs, so reliably hypocritical right to the bitter end.

    PS: Hose Monster, there are multiple web sites that you can look at to help with that vaginismus problem that has plagued you for life…….

  11. admin says:

    Reck. Thanks for your strong support, but I asked for this.

    Theo. You are getting better, but so far you are showing only the ability to counter punch, and rabbit punches at that. I thought you were quick enough to realize that when I said “Fuck Theo”, I did it to draw you here. I thought that maybe, just maybe, you could be enticed to do something truely interesting. I felt that you might actually have something to say.

    Differening opinions are what make good reading, not constant anger-based badgering. So far you’re a one trick pony, and boring– bothersome like an ingrown hair. If you want to be a thorn in our sides, say something smart that is in support of an opposing view.

    But if your entire game is what you’ve shown so far, my Gram says it best. “Who gives a shit?”

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