Twitter Me This; Trump For Prez??????????

 

So. My Twitter “keep count of my Followers” dealie is a source of wonderment for me. I’ve mentioned this previously but I feel compelled to talk about it some more. After six months on Twitter I have– as of three minutes ago, twenty-five Followers. Hoo-yaaaa!

According to my records, the most Followers I have ever had showing in the above mentioned Followers counter dealie there to Twitter is twenty eight. With six months of Tweeting, I bet most of you think I should be disappointed with my success. Right? Are you not thinking, “Mooner, dude. You are one giant miserable tweeting failure.”

But in thinking that you’d be falling into the trap of rushing to decision/opinion with too little information. That would be like if all you heard was that Nicolas Cage had a rough night the other day and you thought, Poor Nicky, go home and get a little rest. You’ll feel better in the morning.

And that reminds me of Donald Trump. If you Christians have ever looked for a sign that the world is near its end-of-days, take a gander at Donald “If I bankrupt it, it will prosper” Trump. I just saw that silly fucker explain his 180-degree flip on abortion by saying, “… I had/have a friend who didn’t want a child and was planning an abortion. He had the child who is now the apple of his eye…”

Now maybe I missed some specific verbiage and misquoted that funky-haired gasbag, but I got the gist for you. Donald. Hey Donald. Listen to me, Donald. Who are you fucking kidding? Your opinion regarding womens’ rights to self-determination is based upon the old “Try it, you might like it” logic string? You mean what you are saying is, “The only reason you don’t want your unwanted pregnancy is because you have never gone all the way with an unwanted pregnancy.”

Seems Donald Trump has been taking smart lessons from Mrs. Palin and her little sister, Michelle, up in Mean-as-soda-water laced with Ex-Lax. It absolutely drives me to distraction when politicians use that kind of logic to sell a political point. It drives me to the cooler for Carta Blanca beer to know that it works.

How stupid are we Americans?

Anyway, like I was saying, I have twenty-five Twitter Followers and I am actually proud. “Why?” you might ask, “are you happy with that paltry sum. That’s like four per month of operations.”

“Easy,” my quick and quite succinct answer. “According to my records, it requires 136.55871 temporary Followers to equal one actual Follower.”

See, for some reason people see something that entices them to push the “Follow” button on Twitter that shows as a plus one on my Follower counter dealie. Then soon after they push the “Un Follow” button and remove themselves from my Following counter. Maybe that should be “De Follow” button.

I have had over 3,400 individual push-the-Follow-button actions on my behalf, and nearly 3,400 of those individuals, again soon after, pushed the Un-Follow-button actions on my un-behalf. Dis-behalf? OK, might that be de-behalf?

Said another way, 3,400 people have found something about all things Mooner Johnson interesting enough to go to all the trouble to find me on Twitter and click “Follow”, and then re-go to the trouble of stopping that following. As the Reckmonster would say, “What the fuck, I mean WHAT-THE-FUCKING-SHIT?

But me, I’m an optimist. Always and always will look to things and hope there’s a bright side. Not that I’ve ever worried about this particular problem, but SAC Ellen told me the other day she said, “Mooner, you are such a blind optimist you could find a bright side to a case of vaginal warts.”

She was right because I immediately started wondering if the the little bumpy wart dealies would increase sexual pleasures.

But I think this entire Twitter issue is a simple matter. I think people jump to conclusions. Of course I can also see how I might hook somebody with the subject in one paragraph of my writings and lose them in the next.

But like my Gram says, she said, “Oh who gives a shit, Mooner? Twitter yer ass over to tha friggie an git me another beer.”

Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “Twitter Me This; Trump For Prez??????????”

  1. Squatlo says:

    Mooner: Here’s ignorance on display for you… I don’t even know what the fuck Twitter is. Has something to do with 140 characters, cell phones, and idiots, in some combination of all three, best I can tell.

    I’m with Gram on this one. Who gives a fuck? You can’t say anything profound in 140 characters. Shit, it takes me that long to say “hey” to someone, much less pass along a message.

    Waste your time on this blog, fuck the Twats and Tweets and Twits. It’ll be a dead social fad before you pull up your last tomato plant this fall.

  2. admin says:

    Squat. I happen to have several profundities that fit 140 slots. “FUCK RICK PERRY” would top that list. “Pass the Early girls” might be a close second. BTW, your garden sounds well-planned. Good luck.

  3. I can’t stand Twitter sometimes! I think I’m just being a hater because I’m not addicted to it like I’m addicted to Facebook lol

  4. I’m not a big fan of twitter either. It’s only “meh” for me. I rarely get on unless I get an email that someone sent me a message. I hate all of that @ shit and the # shit and all of the other retarded bullshit on there. I wouldn’t sweat Twitter, Moon. In other words…like Gram said – Who gives a shit?

  5. admin says:

    T-cat. I started it as a method to notify when I post new stuff. I was told that Twitter was a good way to do that. Just think about it- 25 people now get an instant notification that I have posted something! Twenty-five people! Facebook is the one I can’t stand. I’m concerned when I see the details of my grandchild’s life posted for the world to see. I don’t look anymore.

    Reck. Your undying support warms my cockles.

  6. Squatlo says:

    Do we really need to hear about Mooner’s warm cockles? I think not… y’all need to just get a room.

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