Stop Lying To Us Governor Rick Perry


So. The right-wing Christian puppet known as Texas Governor Rick “We Don’t Need No Education” Perry had a big meeting yesterday with The Billionaire Boys’ Club yesterday to, as stated by one Perry advisor, “Discuss why Texas has such a great business climate. This had nothing to do with fund raising for a presidential run.”

OK, first of all, stop fucking lying about every fucking thing. Politicians only attend meetings sponsored by the Koch brothers while holding both hands out to the conservative cash cows that are the Koch brothers. I’m not doing all the back story on the Koch assholes, that’s all available over to Squatlo Rant (link provided here yesterday). Just stop lying about stupid shit. Even you guys should be above that.

Then for seconds, when is someone on the national scene going to call Rick Perry’s great Texas business climate what it really is? What that little prick has done is induce as many greedy corporations to our state as possible using cash payments paid for by the citizens of our once-great state. Big companies don’t like to pay for the state infrastructure needed to support them and our boy Prick Perry has a way to accommodate them.

The cash payments come in the form of tax credits and abatements, employee training stipends and favorable zoning and environmental exclusions. Major corporations and their big salaried bosses love Texas because we have no personal income tax and no effective corporate taxation. In Texas, we raise the money to pay for our infrastructure and social support systems with property taxes– the same taxes these corporations are not required to pay when they relocate here.

Effectively, these moves to Texas allow the big shakers to move from a state where they are required to pay their fair share of the burden of running the state, to a state where our governor wants to be president so badly that he’ll mortgage his own state’s future to get there.

There is no free lunch, brothers and sisters, and Rick Perry’s plan for success has a huge fucking price. The price, comprising only those damages known at this date, exceeds $26 billion. Twenty… Six… Billion… Fucking… Dollars! That would be the acknowledged budget shortfall in the state treasuries due to Perry’s “sound” business practices. The good citizens of Texas pay for these greedy businessmen to lunch on our dimes.

We cut our school budgets to support Perry’s idiotic practices and, effectively, I feel the Prickster needs to show the $26 billion as a political contribution. Effectively, Rick Perry has used the state treasury for his political ambitions.


Which reminds me. I’m seriously thinking about starting up the Pump Da Hump body image studios. Response has been so strong that I think this one has legs. I’m looking for capital partners. Since we’ll headquartered in Texas, I think we can garner some significant tax abatements to get us to do things here. Maybe I’ll limit things to the first twenty-five applicants.

Wait, I forgot my original hypothesis from when I first started this. I think what has happened is that politicians have lied to us so much, we have become a desensitized society. Like the little guy who gets gang-raped in prison and can’t tell the difference between the ninth rapist and the nineteenth, I think we have gotten into some sort of Stockholm Syndrome.

Ugh. I need some sex and I need it bad. I though I was ready but we went to the big garden to collect stuff for the Food Bank and the sweaty efforts started my ass to smelling like a skunk again. Until I can sweat without issuing ode d’ skunk, I get no poontang from the SACster.

Thank God for Carta Blanca beer. Manana, y’all.

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7 Responses to “Stop Lying To Us Governor Rick Perry”

  1. Squatlo says:

    Mooner, recognizing your Governor to be the cash sucking whore he’s turned out to be in a fine first step in ridding your state of that asshole. But if you think sending him to DC to fist fuck the rest of us is a good way to be rid of his ass, you need to know the rest of us are taking offense when you guys send us your disgraced governors as presidents…

    And I’m getting pumped about your Pooch Pumping biz. Personally, I think the camel toe look should be the next big fashion trend. Ever been over to Wicked Weasel dot com? They have Aussie swimwear on display (my god, what displays) and they accentuate the camel toe in most of their designs. Bless their hearts. Really. Bless them. Transparent swimsuits that play up the camel toe aspect? They must know I’m out here waiting for their next Thursday morning contributors post.

    I’m concerned that you went from a comment about a prison gang rape to telling us how horny you are… Freud made a lot of money working through things like that with patients. I’m sure it’s just a strange coincidence.

    Fuck Rick Perry…

  2. admin says:

    Squat. As much as I’d like to rid Texas of that little asshole, sending him to ruin the entire country is not my wish. I have been trying for years to warn people as to the dangers represented and I’m mostly ignored in my home state.

    My new hopes are pinned on the rest of the country demonstrating a higher IQ. Of course when I see how Rick Perry’s soul mate, Michelle Bachman, is doing in early polling…

    Look for them to be numbers 1 and 2 this fall.

    Fuck Rick Perry.

  3. AHA!

    Totally off topic but I have found the problem with the link! I did screw up. I had typed fuctionkaos blah blah instead of functionalkaos. I corrected in this reply. Since the info comes up automatically since my first reply do you suppose the new info replace the old in subsequent comments? Or will I have to remember to change each time? We shall see.

    Oh yeah and FUCK RICK PERRY
    and we’ll do all we can to help you get rid of him EXCEPT you are NOT foisting him off on the rest of us. We tried that before … how’d that work out for ya huh?

  4. Success … new info is intact! I am a computer WIZARD!
    Now on to my plans for world domination.

  5. admin says:

    Sally. Glad to se that you fixed things. Fuck Rick Perry!

  6. Jeff Mathis says:

    It’s good to know that Rick the prick hasn’t exterminated all intelligent life from Texas. As much as I feel pain for you I am going to do what I can to keep this rabid rat in Texas. He will easier to catch and stomp on if he is contained down there. I hope that you know that Texas is lost in a national election so focus your information targets toward battleground states. People in the north, midwest and east need to know what a dirtbag this man really is. Let me know how I can help. I am a moderate and independent voter and often disagree with Democrats but the wingnut trash that’s taken over the GOP scares the hell out of me.

    Good luck

  7. admin says:

    Jeff. Thanks for the support and unkind words for our Governor. If I had any idea as to how to appeal/approach a wider audience I would.

    You can help spread the word that Rick Perry is a fuckball.


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