Dr. Marcus Bachmann A Closet Gay? Mooner Votes Yes


So. I see where Mitt Romney refused to sign the Family League 14-Point Presidential Pledge. That’s the extremely prejudiced document, already executed by Michele Bachmann and Ricky Santorum, that right-wing Christian fuckballs are forcing on Republican presidential candidates.

First I want to say, “Thank you, Mr. Romney, for having the balls to say “No” to bigotry. Thank you for not taking part in the dehumanization of America.”

Second, I want to ask a question. Who appointed the right wing conservative extremist Christians as the spokesmen for God? From where did they get their authority to speak for Jesus? When did the Jesus Christ who taught and practiced peace, love, understanding and acceptance become a gun-toting right-wing hater?

If you believe that Christ died on the cross all of those 2,000+ years ago and that His word is law, then only His words are the law, right? And he hasn’t had a single fucking thing to say since his last words spoken as he departed earth three days after his death. Maybe I abridged that a touch, but I got the gist of it.

By the way, Ms. Bachmann, how do you account for the fact that Jesus made his last appearance in the presence of a prostitute? Do you think it must have been a typographical error that has the Bible reporting that your Saviour’s last instructions to his flock were to be interpreted and delivered by a filthy, dirty whore?

Doesn’t it bother you that it was a whore, and not the revered Disciples, who had the balls to stand at the foot of the cross and publicly mourn your Man’s slaughter at the hands of the Romans?

Which brings up another point. How in the fuck do those guys decide when to take their Bible literally and when to take it otherwise? How in the holy fuck can they figure that out? Is there some guide that I’m unaware of? I know that Jesus Hisownself hasn’t come back yet so we don’t have any additional instructions from Him.

Hell, if I didn’t know any better I’d say that what happens is that any time a right-wing Christian fuckball doesn’t like what the Bible appears to say– they just make some shit up. Like this 14-point dealie.

I haven’t read the entire thing, I simply do not have the stomach for it. But what I did see turned my stomach. It is obviously an “anti” document. Anti-gay, anti-tolerance and anti-social services, but especially anti-gay.

Which sparks-off another observation, a view for which I feel compelled to issue a disclaimer. I have a gay sister, that would be Sister, and a gay ex-wife. The man I most admire for his manliness is a gay man I have known for many years. I support the gay population in their struggles to gain acceptance and equality. I support them fully.

There is one gay faction, however, that I do not support and one which I feel should be castigated. That is the gay person who pretends to be straight and covers his/her homosexuality by acting anti-gay. Like Dr. Marcus Bachmann. That’s right, I said it. Michele Bachmann’s husband is a deep-in-the-closet gay man who has created the most elaborate cover in modern history.

Watch that silly fucker speak for one minute and you can tell. And I’m not talking about his stereotypical effeminate mannerisms. It’s what he says and what he does. He supports the de-gaying of homosexuals through religious practices. Maybe that should be the “un-gayifying” of homosexuals.

He is the classic, “Me thinketh he doth protesteth too strongly.” I think Mr. Michele Bachmann the poster boy for all gay people who are too frightened to live honestly.

To summarize this for you, answer me this. Dr. Bachmann’s clinics specialize in helping a gay man to “train” the homosexuality out of his soul. I say that this is a method born and raised close to the Doctor’s home. What sayeth thou?

Anyway, my hat is off to you, Mitt Romney. I won’t vote for you but I will stand up for you. So, I hoist my icy-cold bottle of Carta Blanca beer in your honor. Manana, y’all.

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2 Responses to “Dr. Marcus Bachmann A Closet Gay? Mooner Votes Yes”

  1. Squatlo says:

    It does seem like the guys who have the biggest “problem” with gay men are guys who sooner or later get caught in an airport restroom in a wide stance, or hire a boy-toy to help carry their Bibles around the islands when they travel. Not sure if this self-hatred extends to all other facets of their miserable existences, but it certainly is odd to watch.
    So you’re suggesting Michele’s really a beard? He keeps her around to prove he’s a manly man? Me, I’d rather come out of the closet than have to listen to that woman talk night and day. Having her in my closet would be WAY more than I could handle.

    Gotta go… Romney’s a dick. But he’s the only sane dick running on that side of the fence.

  2. Squat. Romney is a dick, but not the worst of them. Now that plant the thought in my head, maybe he’s Michele’s beard. And I just read where that silly fucker isn’t a real doctor nor does he hold any legitimate certifications. He’s just one more money grubbing religious fuckball.


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