Dr. Marcus Still Gay? Cats A Mystery

 

So. I don’t have much time today so I’m going to tie up a few loose ends in today’s bloggie dealie. First off, I have gotten some Google buddy contacts and I have no fucking idea what that is all about. It seems that Google is doing its impression of Face Book only new and improved.

Who gives a flying fuck?

Second, I somehow managed to start a shit storm yesterday when I said that, in my humble opinion, Dr. Marcus Bachmann is a closeted gay man. Yes, in case you didn’t tune in yesterday, I am of the educated opinion that Michele Bachmann’s hubby is homosexual.

To all of you fine right-wing Christian folks out there– the ones of you who said so many nice things to me over the last 24 hours– I have two things to say. The first, based upon observation, consultation and scientific evaluation, is that it is my OPINION that Dr. Marcus Bachmann is a self-hating gay man pretending to have been cured through prayer.

It seems that Dr. Marcus Bachmann likes to pretend often. He likes to obtain pretend degrees from pretend colleges and he likes to make real money while he pretends to “cure” other gay people of their gayness. He “plays” pretend doctor with his pretend degrees and acts like he some kind of authority.

The one role he doesn’t pretend to play is that of a giant, slimy asshole. He is, actually, a giant, slimy asshole.

I asked Rush Limbaugh and Rick Perry, my own closeted gays, what they thought of my opinion. The pig and ostrich had differing opinions on my opinion. Rick Perry agrees with me but Rush thinks I’m wrong. My gay pig says that Marcus and Michele Bachmann look a perfect couple like Ken and Barbie.

When I reminded him that as a couple, he is a giant pig and Rick Perry a tall, skinny and highly masculine fellow, he decided to rethink things. Looking at the Bachmanns standing together reminds me of Rick and Rush.

The second thing I have to say to you religious fuckballs is this, “Bite my ass!”

Next I want to update you re: my fascinating Twitter account. I have moved up and down again, and now have ended a week’s totals at a net of 23 Followers. That is a net loss of 3 Followers for the week. If I’m lucky I can be down to zero by this time in September.

OK, my last thing is to call out all of you chickens, you panty-waisted pussies who are too afraid to tell us about your first masturbation experience. So far only Squatlo and the Reckmonster have bellied up to the bar. So come on, it doesn’t hurt much. Tell us your story.

I need to scoot along now because I have a full day. We already picked the garden to take to the Food Bank, then Squirt and I need to go to the dentist, Honor the cat has a doctor’s appointment and then I’m taking them fishing as a reward for their acting like big girls.

And I did say I’m taking the cat to the doctor. I did not say to the vet. Cats are a mystery that I doubt I’ll ever solve. So drink Carta Blanca beer in a responsible way, and I’ll be back manana, y’all.

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2 Responses to “Dr. Marcus Still Gay? Cats A Mystery”

  1. Squatlo says:

    Mooner, these loons who want to harrass you for your opinions need to drink Carta Blanca. I’m convinced, if you can’t invite them over for a beer summit, ala Obama’s White House “kiss and make up” party for those two grumps who were barking at one another a while back, you should at least suggest that they drink until they can no longer type or dial a phone.

    Fuck Rick Perry with Marcus Bachmann’s pudgy little pecker.

  2. admin says:

    Squat. I’m starting to feel as you did a few days ago– like I’m like Don Quixote in a million acre windmill farm. The Catholic Church is still covering for their child rapists, the right-wing Christian fuckballs are ruining my entire country… and my beloved Texas Longhorns are not in the top 25.

    Ugh.

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