Squatlo Rant Makes Mooner’s Blog Roll; Honor Student First To Qualify

 

So. I have, at long fucking last, debugged the blog roller thingie where I can list my favorites from Blogworld over there [imagine I drew an arrow pointing to the right between these bracket jobbers]. The arrow you are imagining is pointing to the Blog Roll on my webber where you can see but one name– Squatlo Rant.

What I’m going to do is add folks to the Blog Roller dealie one at a time and tell you why I like them– why they were added. When you hover your mousie pointer over an entry on the Blog Roll, a pop-up will provide you with a brief explanation as to why I went to so much fucking trouble to have a Blog Roll.

This entire webber and bloggie situation has been problematic for me from the start. When you combine my lack of computer knowledge with Microsoft’s idiotic Vista operating system and then custom design an advanced website… well, you have some buggaboos built into very foundation of the system.

Then, just as readers begin to locate the bloggie somehow, a/some right-wing Christian hacker/s fuckball/s invade and plant Trojan Horse viruses with the intent to create havoc and frustrations. And answer me this– why isn’t it virusses, with the added “s”?

The Trojans spent time observing and gathering information from my entire computer and when the time was ripe, they raped and pillaged. Like a ripped condom, the Trojans spilled evil seeds all over the place. It has cost me time, money, frustrations and even readership, and I am just now getting my shop reopened after that calamity.

Oh for shit sakes. I am just now getting my shop reopened after those calamities. I need to pluralize since there were multiple Trojans and many different problems. And for that matter, why shouldn’t I say “pluralate”? That would be a far better describer of the actual intent/action. And fuck me running, that needs to be intents/actions. Am I the only one having trouble communicating clearly and accurately?

Anyway, when you layer that entire computer/Inet shit storm with a thick, sticky coat of my ADHD, well you can imagine my confusion. Which reminds me of the Fire Sign Theater. I love Fire Sign Theater. Many hours of my youth were spent with buddies– FST on the stereo, smoldering doobies making the rounds and icy-cold Carta Blanca beers in every hand. One of these days maybe I’ll tell some of those stories but for now, I need to stick to the subject and tell you guys about my good friend, Bob aka Squatlo. Or as I affectionately call him– Squat.

Squat retired from a tire factory job and decided to be a photographer to supplement his pension. He is great with nature pics and when you go over there to his site (having clicked the “Squatlo Rant” button over there [second “think right-pointing arrow prompt” inserted here]), you can click your way into his photo gallery and see what I mean.

Squat also decided to blog and rant on things, and it turns out that he is quite good at it. Liberal is his bend (bent?) and dumbass is the target of his wit. I sometimes find myself spending a thousand words in the attempt to tell you why something bothers me. Then I go over to Squat’s place and see that he said what I imagined I wanted to say in a paragraph.

He post’s what he calls “Guano”, which is stuff he pilfers from others– cartoons, crazy photos and the like, and that shit can be hilarious. And then he’s always embedding videos of silly shit that supports some idea or theme he’s addressing. I’m hooked on the vids. He put up this fake Michele Bachmann video that was so sexy I rubbed callouses on my pecker in a week’s time. I must have logged into that thing 136 times.

OK, I clicked the button 142 times in eight days. So sue me.

Squat is also where I have found many other buddies from Blogworld. All you need to do is check out his Blog Roller, or look at who comments on his site, to find some very interesting characters.

Squatlo Rant is what I call a Daily Checker, a site that I go to every day. With Squat though, I should say Hourly Checker because he posts multiple times each day. He’s a prolific son-of-a-bitch.

Did I do that right? Is it son-of-a-bitch or just son of a bitch? My editor ate my ass out about my hypenationing habits constantly as she reviewed my book. But who-gives-a-shit, right?

So, let’s all hoist a cold Carta Blanca beer and salute Squatlo Rant, the smartest blog on the I-net! Manana, y’all.

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3 Responses to “Squatlo Rant Makes Mooner’s Blog Roll; Honor Student First To Qualify”

  1. Squatlo says:

    As promised, your check is in the mail. Seriously. I’m sending you a check. But don’t try to cash it, or we’ll both get hit with insufficient funds fees from our banks, ’cause they’re here to help. If you have money, they’re happy to lend you more. If you have no money, they charge you for being broke. And we sign up for this abuse.

    But I digress… Thanks for the post. Not sure what prompted all of this unsolicited praise, but I appreciate it.

    Trying to figure out how to send others over here, but I don’t know anyone who’s mentally prepared for the journey… they don’t make Beta-blockers like they used to.

  2. admin says:

    Squat. You can’t buy my praise, which is a good thing for you.

    Be careful who you send this way. I would fucking hate to offend anybody, especially those of the Christian right. To them I say:

    FUCK RICK PERRY!

  3. Whoo hoo! Go Squat!!! Um, Mooner…I do not see the BLOG ROLL thingy you are talking about. It’s nowhere to be found. Fuck your fucking website.

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