Honest Talk About Rape; Where Is Your Voice?


So. What makes everybody so uncomfortable about child molestation? Why is it that I get comments on all of my postings except the ones dealing with child rape? Why is it that the only ones of us who talk about child rape are we victims and our loved ones?

Having discussed my own rape the last several days, I wasn’t going to say anything about it today. But I was over to Squatlo’s place (click over to my Blog Roller to read more) and he posted a story about “comfort dogs”–teddy bear substitutes for rape and abuse victims used to comfort in times of stress. Some people want to prevent victims from having their comfort dogs with them in court.

But you wouldn’t prevent a blind person from having their dog in court. Neither should you ban a comfort dog. Exactly the same logic.

Child rape and other abuses are not going to be diminished in numbers without exposure and discussion. Most cases STILL go unreported. And nobody wants to talk about it. It has been estimated that as many as one in every five women have had sex forced upon them at one time in their life. If twenty percent of our population had the flu, we’d call it a fucking epidemic.

And guess what, most of us recover 100% from the fucking flu.

Nobody, and I mean no-fucking-body comes all the way back from rape. Nobody.


I have managed to come a long way recovered, but I could afford the million dollars, or so, that thirty-five years of intense psycho therapy costs. If you carefully examine the populations of prisoners, suicides, prostitutes and drug addicts, you will find a seriously high percentage of victims. It’s a fucking fact.

Yet in these recent rounds of budget cuts, victim support services have taken severe hits. The programs in place to help victims repair their shattered lives have been shredded. Look for increases in suicide and acting out.

I don’t know what else to say. OK, except to say FUCK RICK PERRY and drink Carta Blanca beer. Manana, y’all.

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7 Responses to “Honest Talk About Rape; Where Is Your Voice?”

  1. Q says:

    You’re right. We sweep so much under the rug. Important things never get resolved because people are too uncomfortable talking about it. Until it hits home, it’s like bypassing a homeless person asking for change; you act as if you don’t see them. It’s sad. It’s a reality well-known across the world, but you would never know it unless you watch Lifetime. We men definitely down play it because we want to act like it doesn’t happen to us. But, it does and we won’t say a word about it most of the time because our ego has our brain in the headlock. Excellent post. People need to wake up and not be afraid.

  2. admin says:

    Q. Thanks dude. Overcoming the shame of rape is a bitch. It took me many rears to tell anyone and many more years for me to be OK with my role as a victim. It was not my fault. But I spent years embarrassed with any discussion of my rape when talking to anybody.

    Now, it’s everyone else who gets all squirmy and bothered when I speak of what happened to me. You’re right, TQ. Silence cures nothing.

  3. Squatlo says:

    Man, I have to check in with your blog more often. I haven’t held my tongue because of some uncomfortable subject matter, I’ve just been up to my ass in my own shit and haven’t had a chance to get over here!

    We all know a rape victim. Just like we all know a homosexual. It might be ourself, it might be a sister or brother, or our mom or aunt or grandmother or maybe our brother or cousin… but we’ve all had our lives touched by a rape victim. By simply doing the math you would have to admit this as well: we all know a rapist.
    If you’ve ever forced yourself on a girlfriend or your wife, or if you took advantage of a person’s inability to hold her liquor, you’re on the page. If you took liberties with someone who wasn’t quite of age? There you go…
    If there were a way to wipe the slate clean and start over, erase all the trauma and damage inflicted over the years, there’s no telling what our modern society would look like. As it is, we have uptight anal retentive preachers frothing at the mouth about homosexuals and sin and adultery the whole time they’re hanging out in the closet. We have upstanding, pillars of the community carrying on with the town’s bidness while enough skeletons rattle around in their own closets to choke a funeral home. Our female family members hide secrets they’ll never share, cast wary eyes at certain relatives at every family reunion, insist on staying home locked behind their own walls at night.
    We’re all damaged, to some extent.

  4. Squatlo says:

    Mooner, you write some of the deepest blog posts on the planet. (I’m not worthy…)

  5. chrisinphx says:

    For myself, I have the maturity level of a 13 year old most days, so when discussions touch something serious and personal I tend to just shut the hell up. I feel like its not my place to speak to something that heavy when I have no idea what it was like to go through. Since it’s normally sarcasm or something snarky coming out of my mouth (becuase feelings and emotions make me squrm) Im always afraid of coming across wrong and getting that what the hell is wrong with you look.
    I thought “holy shitballs, dude, Im sorry you went through that” but thought it best to just keep my trap shut.


  6. Mooner, this is why I love you! You’re not afraid to touch the “ohmahgawdthatissoofflimits!” kinds of subjects. Sexual abuse is wayyyyy more prevalent than anyone realizes – and vastly under-reported among male victims. Even though you’re a crazy fucker…you’re a friggin’ rock star to me, dahling. I’m glad that you post this kind of stuff now and then…people DO need to wake the fuck up and smell the rotten bitch ass eggs. This is the kind of shit that goes on…and by cutting those “goddamned social programs for those goddamned lazy mooching ass good for nothing scum of the earth bastards” who might need some kind of counseling if they’ve experienced any kind of sexual abuse…well, we’re doing ourselves a HUGE favor…because only rich people – and especially UBER Christian rich people “deserve” help, right? Don’t get me started…

  7. Squat. It isn’t those of you who do comment on the issue, it’s those who do not stand up against abuses who rankle me. We are a modern society, for shit sakes. It’s time we reduce those percentages steadily.

    Chris. Dude, it’s your acknowledgement that underscores the problem. Men, especially men, have great difficulty dealing with rape. Doesn’t it make your skin crawl to think about another man getting raped? It takes a man just to say that the discussion makes him uncomfortable. Thanks for your thought.

    Reck. You hit the nail on the head–victims need therapy. The need it quickly, intensely and continuously. Thanks for the thoughts.

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