Haven At Downwardspiralintothevortex: Mooner’s Hero


So. I was up early this incredible Saturday morning because the newest addition to the Mooner Johnson Pet Emporium And Nut House awakened me a dozen times before three am. The soon-not-to-be-called Pi, a cute little shitball dressed in basic white fur with big splashes of multi-hued spots, needed to go outside every half-hour. Since he shits each time he pees, I can’t train him to go pee in the sink. That means a trip to the outside grass with each awakening.

I’d like to be bitchy about this predicament, but I can’t. The little guy… wait a minute, he needs to go out again….

As I was saying, this precious little bundle of Chihuahua blended with Jack Russell terrier was born a captive in a puppy mill up to Oklahoma. Fucking asswipe Baptist shitballs kept him locked in a filthy cage for his entire first year.

I just noticed how similar the word terrier is to terror, not a coincidence, I’m starting to think.

After maybe the eighth trip outside with the dog, I first decided to start cuting him off the Carta Blanca beer at 8:00 pm, and second to sit at my computer and troll the Webber and see what was going on in Bloggie World. I cruised around until I got over to Brandini’s place at My Own Private Idaho—a spot you can acquire by clicking over there -} on my Bloggie Roller.

While there, I read his funny take on his laptop, the one where he thinks it has a clitoris, and then I read through the comments. One was from Haven, and reading her comment gave me a sort of kinetic jolt. Actually, I had no reason to know Haven was a she (her?) except for the jolt. So I clicked onto her name and visited her site.

Have you ever noticed what an incredible array of magnificent creatures lay at your feet with the simple clicking of a mouse button? I fought computers for twenty years, treating them as nothing more than pet rocks with TV screens. Hell, I didn’t even learn how to use a keyboard until I started writing my book three years ago.

Now, with a little push of button that clicks its approval of your actions, you can find an entire world of interesting people. Like Haven.

Haven appears to be afflicted with Borderline Personality Disorder—the psycho therapy industry’s holy grail. OK, that might be the absolute worst analogy I have ever made. Let me try again by quoting Dr. Sam I. Am-Johnson, my psycho therapist and first-of-ten ex-wives. I am quoting her to you from a session I had when I was in preparations to marry my sixth wife, a borderline woman.

“Mooner, have you thought this all the way through?” Sam asked.

“Oh, you know me, Sammie, I give all important decisions the same thoughtful considerations,” I answered.

“That’s exactly what concerns me, Mooner. Do you understand the we psychotherapy professionals—psychiatrists, social workers and psychologists all three—consider persons with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to be our third-degree burn patients. They are the hardest to reach and help.”

“I think I can grasp that concept,” I told my personal therapist. “But with my ADHD and obsessive compulsions, won’t we have a yin-yang dealie going on?”

“Clueless,” Sammie said. “Mooner, you are totally fucking clueless.”

But we were a good match half the time. I have never had such a wonderfully terrifying time in my life. Sufferers of BPD often have difficulty relating to the world around them, and depression and self-harming habits are common. Our divorce was a forgone conclusion before we even met. I was working on my crazinesses in therapy but she couldn’t stand to look in her mirrors. Literally or figuratively.

I’ve gotten better, somewhat. She simply spent more time with BPD. I won’t tell you anything more about her or our time together except to say it was unfortunate.

But to read Haven’s bloggie was a wonderful experience. She is looking in her mirrors with both eyes wide open and telling the world what she sees. I am in awe of her. Go check her out at:

http://www.downwardspiralintothevortex.blogspot.com/ and visit the incredibly strong woman there.

Speaking of awe, the awful football team that was the 2010 Texas Longhorns seems to have morphed into something more recognizable in the rich colors of orange and white. Our trip to LA to play UCLA will go a long way to confirm that notion.

Or not.

The other UT, the one with white and that ugly-ass orange color, is seemingly making the same kind of turn-around. They have a tougher test today than do my beloved Longhorns, but I’m rooting for Squatlo’s Vols as if they were my own. I’m just going to be required to adjust the color on my TV to watch.

Hopefully both UT’s will come home with big wins. Manana, y’all.

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2 Responses to “Haven At Downwardspiralintothevortex: Mooner’s Hero”

  1. Brandon says:

    Haven’s blog is fantastic, and well worth the read. I sadly don’t comment a lot, because I don’t really know what to say. I’m in awe of her writing, and words just fail to come out.

    Which, for me, is saying something.

  2. Brandini. It can be quite difficult to know what to say when you see what a BPD sufferer goes through. Haven is special and seems to wish to hear what you think. I bet she’ll tell you what she would like from you if you ask her.

    Like I said, Haven is special.

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