Mooner’s Last Supper; A Halloween Drama


So. Today is Halloween and it’s to be a really big day here to Loonyland. I have been staying away from the Planned Parenthood for the last week, or so, because of today’s Johnson Family Playhouse performance titled, “The Last Supper Goes Anti-Anti-Abortion Re-protesting”[.]

The asshole Christians have ratcheted-up their anti-abortion protestings recently. They are doing this “bow our heads in saddened silence” thingie where the turn their backs to traffic and face the clinic.


I’ve got my crew dressing as Jesus and his Disciples having that last dinner. OK, not all of the D’s will be represented as Mother refuses to play, and SAC Ellen is in Costa Rica, again. Can somebody tell me what possible business a Special Agent In Charge for the US Department of Homeland Security would have in Costa Rica?

Me, I love Costa Rica and I really love Costa Rican coffee. But you’d need a long-range tactical bomber to attack America from Costa Rica, and they don’t even have an air force down there.

We had quite the skirmish when deciding roles for today’s Halloween skit. First, everyone wanted to be Jesus, and then nobody wanted that role. I have refused it from the start as it just doesn’t seem fitting. In a final compromise with Gram and the ostrich Rick Perry, I cast Dubbie-J in the Jesus, Lord and Saviour, role. Dubbie-J is Woodrow Wilson Jones, Aunt Hilda’s shrunken head-in-a-box. And don’t even ask because that story is, of course, in the fucking book. A book that you can buy, coincidentally enough, by clicking to this linkster:

The little presumed to be African native man has already got long hair and a beard, and he looks terrific in the made from hemp fabric robe the guys over to the factory made for him. Gram said it best when she said, “Why tha little guy is cute enough ta date.”

Then Gram and Yoda started haggling over who got to be Judas. Gram wanted to be Judas because, as she again so eloquently put it, “He’s tha one what got tha gold. There is real gold, right, Mooner?”

Yoda wanted that role because Judas and Jesus sound alike and are almost spelled alike, which is a conundrum for another dichotomy. I love dealies like that. Like how Mormon and moron are a simple “m” apart.

When all of the fighting was over, we decided to go with Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Judas, plus Sleepy and Dopey. Rush Limbaugh is the perfect Sleepy, as hogs tend to be a tad sluggish by nature. And Rick Perry as Dopey… Enough said.

My role is head administrator, driver of the family flat bed truck, and director of the play. I’ll be wearing my new sandwich board sign that says, “I’m An Abortion And I’m OK,” on the one side, and, “A Woman’s Right Of Choice Is Sacred,” on the flipper.

Enough. I need to get things going. I was gonna say, “I need to get this show on the road,” but it seemed a tad over-the-top. Manana, y’all.

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2 Responses to “Mooner’s Last Supper; A Halloween Drama”

  1. bj says:

    Well I reckon this Halloween is gonna have a Xmas theme fer us too! I got this Santa Claus getup see …. and Ms. Baby’s got this here Elf outfit and this real lifelike swarthy lookin’ lil’ babydoll see ….. we’s’ll put that baby doll inna cardboard box with somethin’ that resembles swaddling (whatever THAT is) clothes on the front porch … and we’s’ll sing “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Kit-Kats” or “Skittles Bells” or some shit …..

  2. admin says:

    BJ. Glad to see you’re in the spirit. Please take pics of any kids brave enough to walk the dirt road to your front porch.

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