Waaaanita Perry Whines Again; World Still Spinning

 

So. OK, first, please allow me to say that to the best of my knowledge the world did not end yesterday. I pigged-out on pork all day as my family and friends spent out last possible hours enjoying each other as if old Harold were right this time. I stopped drinking at 7 pm, right after my crispy whole piggy dinner, so that I would be fully sobered for the drive to the airport to pick up SAC Ellen.

She and I fumbled and giggled for a couple hours as we made the best sex we could in the back seat of a Sixties Pontiac GTO. I’ve got abrasions on my knees, left hip and my chin, and I think I strained a hamstring. The abrasions to knees and hip are from the GTO’s rough carpet. My chin must be rubbed raw from the regrowth of the SACster’s neder regions.

Before she left Monday morning to head out to California, we spent Sunday night doing personal grooming on each other. I shaved her clean—legs, arm pits, pubis and taint. While I like a hairy woman, there is no other feeling to match the sensation of dragging your tongue over a smooth-shaved adult female. Still fun, whisker burn results when nuzzling stubble.

SAC Ellen thought it would be funny to shave my front to look like Dumbo with Micky Mouse ears, and she shaved my ass to where the unshaved hair spelled “Ellen”[.] When she finished I told her I thought it looked like Goofy, and she poked me for saying something that dumb.

And let’s stop for one minute and cogitate on something. First, why shouldn’t I have said, “… to where the unshavened hair,”? If you are “clean-shaven” then you would have to be unshavened. Also, why not “spellt” or maybe “spellted” instead of spelled?

I know I’ve got grammar police reading my shit because you never fail to try to correct me. But never once have any of you offered me logical reasoning as to my questioned grammatical alterations.

Fuckballs.

Which reminds me. Have any of you guys noticed that Anita Perry has even started looking like her namesake, Anita Bryant? I swear to god it’s true. If I could Photoshop, or whateverthefuck it is that lets you put two pics side-by-side, I’d show you. Maybe BJ or Squattie will do it for me. Grab a stock black and white of Anita P, and an uncolored on of Mz. Bryant from when she had the same hair style. Look like twins.

Which also reminds me. Message to Rick Perry: “Ricky, do yourself a huge favor. You are plenty stupid for the entire family. Tell Anita to stay to home until she gets her medications stabilized.”

Waaaaanita was in South Carolina and started whining about her poor baby boy having to resign his job because of a federal regulation that prohibits policy advisors from participating in political campaigns. Waaaaaaaanita thinks that’s “unfair” to her little Griffin Perry, the now former employee of Deutche Bank. While Waaaanita was whining about insider influences, hubby was up the coast in DC to woo the insiders on his own behalf. The Prickster was there to raise money and influence from the lobbyists who fuel our greedy political system.

Now folks, please listen to something. Rick Perry has historically chided those politicians who are funded and influenced by the same shitheads he is there to now impress. And he has grown desperate for his sinking polls and will do anything to get back on top.

But I just remembered my point to all of this shit. What I wanted to say is that I want my First Ladies to show that they have the strength to make their husbands behave their fucking selves. Like with Mrs. Obama. Anyone doubt she’d have trouble pulling the trigger on her man? Or Eleanor Roosevelt? Or Barbara Bush?

Presidents are men, for shitsakes, and we men are total fuck-ups without the rudder of a strong woman. Strong women do not fucking whine because her kid has to follow the same rules as everyone else’s kids. Hey, Waaanita. Griffy ain’t in Texas anymore, and we don’t like whiners.

FUCK RICK PERRY and drink Carta Blanca beer as we all root for Tennessee to kick Alabalony’s ass tonight. Manana, y’all.

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3 Responses to “Waaaanita Perry Whines Again; World Still Spinning”

  1. Q says:

    Rubbed raw from regrowth. Wow. LOL! I have no idea what to say about that. I shouldn’t even know Waaaanita Perry’s name. If your husband isn’t the nominee, then why should I care who she is? If Rick Perry really wants to put all eyes on him, he will challenge Mitt Romney to a winner-take-all cage fight.

  2. Squatlo says:

    Anita Bryant Perry, eh? Hadn’t noticed the similarities…

  3. Q. OK, first, it hurts soooo gooood. Prick Perry is a pussy who carries a girl’s gun when he and his body guards jog in the city. Boy’s a poser.

    Squat. Does this mean you’ll post the pics?

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