Clarifying Clarion’s Review: Full Rising Mooner Is Double Page-One Success


So. Let me first get my book stuff out of the way. The Squirt has agreed to not shit on any of my things if I spend fewer than three paragraphs on the book, not counting this paragraph wherein I describe the deal for her not so shitting. This first paragraph is introductory in nature and I’m not to be held accountable for any book bragging yet, if, I would suppose, that I don’t get carried away.

Now this paragraph will be the official start of sanctioned book bragging, and I’ll start bragging by saying that the link I gave you yesterday was to the page of my book’s review within Clarion’s website. When I gave you that link, I didn’t grasp the full purviews of things. I didn’t realize that the notice of my book’s review was on the actual first page of Clarion’s website! It appears that the first page of their website, Reviews Tab, posts six of their highest star rated books with recent reviews. Go and Google “Clarion Book Reviews” and then clicker to “Clarion” and hit the “Reviews” Tab. That’s a lot of clickers and apostrophes, but you can manage. If you can follow my thought streams you can forge that one.

There, in a prime spot on the first page of Clarion’s website, is my book Full Rising Mooner. Then, you can go down that page to see all the different categories Clarion reviews, where mine is under “Fiction- Humor” and again you can clicker that and find my book on page one once more!

I’m a doubled-up page one, four-of-five starred authorating sumbitch!

Having finished the authorized bragging, please allow me to say that the previously-discussed peace and harmonies continue, unabated, at Chez Johnson ranch. One of my errands for today is to revisit the Walgreens Drugstore to get a case of backup condoms for Mr. Dave because, as Gram put it, “Yer Aunt Hilda don’t wanna be runnin’ out on Christmas day.”

I’m guessing that Mr. Dave is spreading his Xmas cheer far and wide. And with exceedingly high frequencies. I didn’t count how many individual rubbers were in the case I bought earlier this week, but it had to be at least a gross, you know, 144 individual gold foil-wrapped goodies.

I can tell you that if I used 144 in a month I’d be needing back surgery and a semen transfusion, so me, I’m applauding the old geezer’s work ethic. A man has got to be in love with sex to do that much sexing.

When I return from errand running, the animals and I will start making goodies for Sunday’s meal. I’ll rub the big pork roast with my special Xmas rub and put it away to cure (I’m doing this sour cherry glaze for that), I’ll get the super-buttery scalloped potatoes together, and most importantly I’ll be baking the buttermilk cake that Melanie found the instructions how to bake for me.

Awkward sentence structure aside, I’m very fucking excited about the cake, and will be reporting on it herein, but at a later date. OK, wait a minute. Can I say “herein” as it will be herein, when it isn’t herein now, or even after I finish this bloggie posting and post it? I’m not coming back later and inserting the cake results herein, so that adds additional layers of confusion to my musings.

Try this. At a later time, I will tell you what happened with Melanie’s buttermilk cake instructions and I’ll post that posting here, in these pages. But not these specific pages, future pages.

Clarity is my middle name and communication is my game.

Anyway. My ADHD is in full DEFCON mode. I don’t know if that’s DEFCON ONE or FIVE whichever, but I can tell you that my brain is spinning with shit. That would be why I’m stopping now at fewer than 600 words before I confuse anyone.

Please check out my book in all the many places aforementioned, herein and hereout. Manana, y’all.

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7 Responses to “Clarifying Clarion’s Review: Full Rising Mooner Is Double Page-One Success”

  1. bj says:

    In MY Book, Mister …. Yer a full Five outta Five Stars, authoratin’, sumbitch, of a Friend! Wishin’ You and Yorn A Very Merry and A Holly Jolly!
    btw …. that BIG cooler? S’fulla Carta Blanca …… ¡Salud! mi buen amigo!

  2. squatlo says:

    Kind of cool that your book and review are on their front page! Keep this shit up and I’ll have to start bragging on the best-selling author-type person I know… (and maybe your dog will crap every time I brag on you)

    As for Mel’s cake recipe, you have to share if that’s allowed, but only if it makes tears well up in your eyes. BJ came over the other day and on his way out I handed him about a third of a Friendship Cake my lovely wife had made. Just got an email from him that basically said our cake reminded his Miss Baby of a recently-deceased aunt who used to make the same cakes, but that ours had an added ingredient she was curious about. Well, that ingredient would be the Parrot Bay Coconut Rum I convinced my wife to drizzle over the top of the cake as it cooled. Now that’s standard procedure whenever we make ’em, and they’re now officially called “Rum Cakes”. BJ also wanted to know if making them required “starter fluid”, which cracked me up.

    Hope you and your menagerie and your added fornicatin’ house guests have a great Christmas, Don. We’re blasting off for east TN in the morning, carrying few presents, but will be bringing a jug of B52’s and a ton of happy hollerdaze spirit. Try to not get arrested or anything ’til we get back home.

  3. melanie says:

    You go on with your bad self and your incredible reviews you are getting! That is just awesome and you should be proud. Just writing a book is a huge undertaking, but doing it well is a whole other category.

    Also, I am still a nervous wreck about the cake. I will be until I know that it was good. Especially with all the tears that have come about because of it…

    And OMG. Mr. Dave.

  4. admin says:

    Beej. Love you like a brother, dude. Love to yours.

    Squat. The cake is primo and it sound as if yours is as well. Drive carefully and come home with some good stories. I haven’t been arrested at Xmas time since 1992, so I think I’ve broken my habit of… maybe that’s an entire story, so I’ll save it.

    Mel. Thanks for the accolades and the cake recipe. Read up there ^^^^^ and see the results. Mr. Dave asked about you at breakfast. I won’t give him your address.

  5. Obama appointed Geithner, Summers and Bernanke. He’s just as culpable for this situation as they are. Clearly, we don’t have two parties in this nation; only the one corporate party. Unfortunat-ely, still too many people oblivious to this fact. Nothing will change until they wake up; which is what the aristocrac-y fears and why they do all they can to distract the masses with racism, entertainm-ent, and so on. Cheap GW2 Gold

  6. Emil Rower says:

    I am myself a fan of cloud computing.It certainly presents a big opportunity to use this technology for the common benefit for all.Great post indeed.

  7. Fernanda Lowrey says:

    This is the “official” Amazon EC2 and S3 book, and it does a fantastic job of covering the basics.

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