Good To Be Gay On Bloggie Roller; Fuck Rick Santorum

 

So. I’m still stinging and laughing at myself over the entire Theo business. Squatlo and I have been terrorized by our buddy Wild Bill BJ for so many months, now that the gig is up I’m feeling a sense of loss. I guess it’s like a separation anxiety or whatever psycho analytical term you would use.

In other news, I was at a coffee shop yesterday to give books away and encountered a nice older man with opinions on life that are my polar opposite. He was reading a Baptist Daily Prayer book and sipping a cup of tea. He sat at a corner table with the sun shining squares on his face through a lattice hanging outside the window. He and his table were checkered with sun spots.

I asked if I could sit and discuss a book with him—my book—and he welcomed me with open arms. Literally, he stood and opened his arms to me. We shook hands and introduced ourselves, and I will tell you that his first name is Bill, a coincidence, and he sits at this table at this time of day every MTTF and Saturday, five days every week. The reason he doesn’t sit at that table on W’s and Sundays is because he sits at the First Baptist church those days.

Baptist Bill is a true Southern gentleman—polite to the point of aggravating, gushingly supportive and very slow to burn. Did I say slow to burn?

We exchanged pleasantries, as Southern gentlemen do, and then he listened to my book pitch. I decided to let him read the Clarion four-of-five stars review before wasting any additional time, so I handed him a copy. Those of you who have read said review know that the last sentence of the second paragraph says, “Using strong language, he (the author) constantly lambastes the two things he dislikes the most: Republicans and Baptists.”

Baptist Bill began reading the review, and chuckled right away. He looked up and said, “Oh, you’re Mother Johnson’s son, aren’t you,” and he continued reading. It was a statement and not a question, and the chuckle came quickly, like at the “ten ex-wives” dealie in the first paragraph.

He read for maybe another twenty seconds, stopped and removed the half-lens glasses that perched on the end of his nose, and sighed. A deep, cleansing sigh. “I know all about you, Mooner Johnson, and I approve of none of it. Go away before I call the manager.”

What, no Mr. Johnson from the Southern Baptist gentleman? “Before you call the manager on me, might you tell me what it is about me that you find so disapproving?”

“How about everything, Sir. You are a disgusting heretical spawn of the devil. I heard what you said about Governor Rick Perry, and you should be ashamed of yourself.”

I asked him what it was I said and he told me, “You support homosexuality,” and then he said he would call the manager if I didn’t promptly leave his table.

He’s right, I do support homosexuality. I thanked him for his time, as a Southern gentleman would, and left his table to take a stance and find my next victim. I noticed the old fart picked the review off his sun-spotted table and started reading again. Baptist Bill grimaced as he read.

I found someone to approach, did, sold the book giveaway concept, and left the shop.

At last night’s dinner, at a point sometime before telling my Wild Bill BJ story, I mentioned Baptist Bill. “Oh, that must be William, the retired accountant from the First Baptist Church, a true gentleman. He came to our church to hear Pastor Browningwell’s special message on the sanctity of man/wife marriage.”

Have you guys ever noticed that these fucking right-wing Christian fuckballs still say, “Man/wife marriages,” when they think we aren’t paying attention? It would be a man/woman dealie, you ignorant shitwads. Sometimes preachers still announce at the end of a wedding, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

That shit scorches my balls. Which reminds me. I want to name a new member to my Bloggie Roller. The new member isn’t a person but it’s rather a newsletter. It’s called “Good To Be Gay” and it has been a very good read for me. You can find it at:

http://paper.li/MaleFollower/1309626956?utm_source=subscription&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=paper_sub

You can also click over there ====}}} on the Roller to get there. Today’s issue has a story about the other Pricky Ricky running for President, and a situation that came up yesterday in Florida. Rick The Prick Santeria was asked by the mother of a gay American why her child, a productive and law-abiding citizen, shouldn’t be allowed to marry. Oopsie. I just noticed that my spell checker just changed Santorum to Santeria, a voodoo term. How fucking appropriate is that?

Anyway, the article has the following quote from Ricky S:

“There are certain things that government does that gives people privileges in order to promote activity that are healthy for society and are best for society. And those things we promote would give people advantages or benefits, government benefits because we think that is healthy activity. Mothers and fathers coming together, forming healthy marriages, having children and raising those children. Every American child has the right, and the government should support the right to have and know their mother and father and be raised by their mother and father.”

  • Rick Santorum

Which of us knew that our Constitution gave Rick Santeria the right to grant privileges? Can you even get your heads around what this man said there? This asshole just said that the government needs to enforce (“support”) the right of every kid to have a mother and a father who raises them.

Does that frighten anyone but me? I can’t be the the only one. I’m now officially adding a Rick to my Fuck List. Fuck Rick Perry.

And FUCK RICK SANTORUM TOO!!!

Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “Good To Be Gay On Bloggie Roller; Fuck Rick Santorum”

  1. mel says:

    Well of course he knew who you were. That is awesome! And I love the new page addition!

  2. squatlo says:

    Rick Santorum is WAY more offensive to me than the idiot you put in the Governator’s Chair over in Austin… At least Perry keeps his sanctimonious opinions on gay rights to himself and the unfortunate few folks who happen to be standing around him at photo opportunities. Or that’s what I was told at a Blog Con party one night. Or maybe I dreamed that whole evening up… gets foggy whenever I try to remember the stories I was told that night.

    Santorum (Latin word meaning “Asshole”) trumpets his bigotry and wraps it ’round him like Old Glory. The guy has some serious fucking issues, and I think the Frothy Google link suits him to a tee.

    Screw ’em both. Or better yet, find a way to picture ’em screwin’ each other. Then post the photo.

  3. I think you should get another gay exotic pet and name him “Rick Santorum” – The Other Rick and Rush could allow the new Rick into their lovenest and have a polyamorous relationship. I mean, shit, if you’re going to support GAY marriage…why not push the envelope a little further and make it “Gay Polyamory” (is that a word? what would be the noun form of polyamorous? would it be polyamour? polyamory sounds better, doesn’t it? fuck…i’m having a Mooner moment here…).

    I think these idjuts just need to mind their own business and stay out of people’s nutsacks and vajayjays.

  4. F. Leghorn says:

    That’s a GREA ….. I Say, GREAT Idea Reck Has! Boy …. I Say, BOY! How’d You Like To Swa …. I Say, SWAP that Feral Cat you Was Threat ….. I Say, You Was THREATENIN” To Send To Me ….. For An Open ….. I Say, OPENLY GAY Sun Conure Named Peach? She Might Li ….. I Say, SHE Might LIKE Being Called Rick Santeria …..

  5. admin says:

    Mel. GTBG is a good read.

    Squat. I’ve beeen so occupied with my own Rick The Prick I have neglected this one. A situation I shall repair.

    Reck. I’d need to build a bigger closet unless the third gay pet were small, and those two would squish anything smaller than a pony. And lookie here, Mr. F Leghorn is willing to send his beautiful little birdie to fill the bill. Only problem is my pet pig and ostrich are gay boys and Miss Peach is, well, not a boy.

    BJ, you evil fucking genius. I just tripped over the new commenters’ comments and I can’t believe what I read. Too much input to make a response now. But when will you tell me about your new coach?

  6. bj says:

    YOU tell Peach she’s “not a boy”! Every time I try, she takes a plug outta my finger (one time …. my EAR!) She IS attracted to wimmins, though, so you may be right about not mixin’ her in with your fellas. They surely don’t need the grief.
    At this point in time my beloved Raider’s Front Office is keeping everything on the downlow about whom ELSE will be released/garnered …. I know he’s a Defensive guy, and the last Defensive coach we had was St. John of Madden; who was promoted from Linebacker’s coach by Big Al. Been a Lotta OFFENSIVE (like Raider fans) coaches roll and tumble in that job since Madden retired to werk for Tinactin and Ace Hardware … but only one REAL good one. Tom Flores won us a Lombardi Trophy in Oakland and ANOTHER during the L.A. Crazy Days! I gotta lotta faith in Reggie McKenzie to make the right decisions for the future (he’s also a defensive guy) and am very happy with the NEW Mr. Davis’ decision to make no decisions and to just sign the checks.
    Love You Like A Brother, Brother …..

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