Mooner’s State Of The Union Address; Corps Are Not Humans, Dumbass


So. I was over to Squatlo’s place this morning and he was bitching and bellyaching as per his usual rants. He’s got a quite sensitive antenna for ignorance, dumbass and shit-headedness. And banalities as well.

He posted about Tuesday’s State of the Union Speech and how the President should just skip it. He has some smart insights and garnered some smart comments as well. Please go over to his place by clicking on the linkster button over there ===}}} , read that referenced posting and comments, and then return back here for the point of my ramblings this morning.

Go on now with your bad self, move your mousie and take a couple minutes to gather some elucidations from Squatlo, and then come back. I’ll still be here.

While you guys are over there, I want to make an observation for you. Have you paid any attention to what happened in South Carolina with the Rebubbies in the primary? Have you seen how far right-wing Christians will bend their morals to prevent a “non-Christian” from winning a political race in their state?

The Mittster is the very embodiment of the modern right-wing Christian family man. He hates Social Security and Medicare-Medicaid, he hates labor unions and labor-led business practices, he’s had but one wifey-poo and forever at that, he thinks Genghis Khan was a dove, he wants big business to run the entire fucking country. Oh yea, and he’s a bigot.

Except for that entire Mormon dealie, Herr Mittendorpher is the very embodiment of Southern American conservative Christian values.

But Mitty might as well be a Taliban tribal leader from the hinter reaches of Afghanistan who praises Allah with every other breath. Southern Christians will believe that God spoke to Moses multiple times and orchestrated burning bushes that spoke His word, but they will not eat John Smith’s porridge. Those fine citizens will listen in rapture as Pat Robertson spews his silly swill and makes the broad statement that God told him who will win the next Presidential race, yet they find it silly—blasphemous even—that God would ask His followers to wear magic undies.

Which reminds me. Don’t you even start to tell me that bigotry is dead in America. Do… not… start. When people like Pat Robertson and Newbt Grinchford, and Rick Perry can gain prominence as they have, our beloved country is still populated by those devils.

Ever notice that devil bears a strong resemblance to evil?

Is everybody back now from Squattie’s place? Here we go. I think that Herman Cain is a puppet—at best a Miss Piggy and at worst that lecherous dog puppet, old what’s-his-name. Hermie can’t string together cogent thoughts any better than Rick The Prick Perry, he is a serial adulterer as is Newbt, and he’s a big money-big business fuckball like SchMitt. Settle with this information as it is the foundation for my State O’ De Union address.

Triumph, I think was that dog puppet’s name. Or maybe it was Spitfire.

With that premise in mind—the one where Herman Cain cannot ad lib for shit—the Prez needs to send a draft of his speech to the other side that is nothing more than a rehash of what is expected, a same old tired and silly speech—just like Squatlo speaks of. Give them exactly what they expect to hear and let them spend their time prepping Hermie’s response based thereon.

Then Tuesday night, Obama can start his speech with all the usual greetings and across-the-aisle platitudes and silly bullshit of decorum, and then do the first couple of minutes of the canned spam. He’ll say something silly, like “Our number one goal is to put Americans back to work…,” and then he’ll stop, rub his eyes and then shake his head and say, “Turn off the teleprompter. Please, turn it off.”

The audience will moan with the murmurs of of both surprise and concern. People will be whispering in each others’ ears. The Prez will let the audience remain unsettled for a full sixty seconds. Have you ever encountered a full minute’s pause at a big gathering?

Now the audience is squirming and the talking heads for broadcast corporations are squirming as well. Those assholes can’t stand dead air so they’ll start filling it with the banalities that are their stock in trade. “This is remarkable, Peter. Has this ever happened before?”

At the ticked tock of sixty seconds, Obama takes a deep breath, pinches the bridge of his nose and says, “My fellow Americans, our country has been stolen from us, and we, The People, must take it back. The conservative right has placed an iron-fisted grip on the very throat of our country and will force us to yield to their every wish if we don’t fight back.

“We are being sold the idiotic notion that corporations are people with the same inalienable rights as human citizens. Then we’re told that corporate citizens are not to be held to the same standards of contact as are we humans.

“Our rights as citizens are taking backseat to religious dogma. We are losing personal rights of choice to their sometimes bigoted religious beliefs. If we do not believe as they do, we become second class citizens.

“They want to gut and privatize every governmental institution and place the authority in the hands of corporate citizens. They lie about Social Security and they lie about the US Postal Service and tell you that they are insolvent. Social Security has never been bankrupt and it is those same lawmakers who have put the Postal Service at risk with an unprecedented requirement that it fund decades of future retirement benefits today.

“Using marketing strategies that play on the fears of conservative Christians to sway their votes, the fractional interests of the extremely wealthy have seized control of many state houses, media outlets and the United States House of Representatives. Using the filibuster, they have managed to place a choke hold on the US Senate as well.

“America is under siege. America is on the verge of becoming a hostile environment to the very same human citizens it was created to protect. America is dangerously close to becoming a feudal state run by proxies of the corporations of the mega-rich.

“We, The People, need to take it back. We, the human citizens of the United States of America, need to take it back. Here is my plan…”


Anyway, it makes for good beer-drinking conversation so I’m grabbing a Carta Blanca and heading to the den to watch professional football. Manana, y’all.

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11 Responses to “Mooner’s State Of The Union Address; Corps Are Not Humans, Dumbass”

  1. squatlo says:

    My how our posts today favored one another. WE oughta team up and write the Prez’s speeches, Mooner…

  2. Q says:

    Are you a speech writer, Mooner? Wow, that was great! I thought you were going to say he should pause for 60 seconds and then do a remix of his Al Green song from the other day.

  3. mel says:

    i am not gonna lie. i literally be sleeping through the entire speech. because that is my 4am. i will most likely find out what was said by reading all of the blogs i have come to enjoy so much as of late. is that bad?

  4. admin says:

    Squat. Ahhh… uhhh. ahhh… Did I fail to mention, above, that I was stealing from you? I stole from you- hook, line and bait box.

    Some of my most original ideas are stolen. Comes with the territory. With my kind of ADD, I sometimes have difficulty remembering if I THOUGHT something or HEARD it from somebody. But as I advised the Reckmonster as she lamented her most recent Prince Chaming’s reversion to his amphibious persona.

    “Onward through the frogs!”

    Q. Speeches is my middle name. Are middle names? Interesting that the Prez sang Al Green and Herman Cain always cranks up a hymm. I guess like the Newbt, Hermmie has some repentin’ to do.

    Mel. Worry not, my little kidney-stoned cheffie-poo. When you get a moment Wednesday, get a cup of tasty coffee and check in with Squatlo and BJ and you’ll get all the news that’s fit to read. Too bad kidneys don’t stone like pot.

    And I want to make a special shout out to Mr. Schuyler Colfax, Vice President to Prezzie US Grant. I stand amazed at your miraculous rebound. It’s nice to see that your politics haven’t changed in the +/- 140 years you spent being dead. Welcome back to the land of the living, sir.

    BTW. Women can vote, horses are for sport only, and you’re going to just love our modern weapons of war.

  5. Katy Anders says:

    If I thought that might happen, I would watch the State of the Union.

    This would be an improvement to anything we’re likely to hear tomorrow, and would leave the GOP basically without a playbook to use in response. And your “feudal state” line is dead on – I mention feudalism every time someone says the President is socialist. His approach to the corporate state is much, much closer to feudalism.

    As it stands, I end up wasting an evening watching a bunch of Republicans trying to decide whether they ought to clap at various stock platitudes.

  6. Granny Ook says:

    Mooner, Regarding your mother’s diagnosis of your strange failure to see the value of Perry’s “plans” for Texas, I never cease to be amazed at the ability of fundies to delude themselves.

    Reasonably intelligent, apparently sane people who would not dream of buying a cheap used car from a man calling himself “Honest John” will happily buy both religion and politics from any money-grubbing grifter calling himself “Christian John.” And if you dare point out that the religion/policies being peddled are slightly defective here and there, why, you are slandering a good Christian man!

    Sigh. “Honest John” could sell a lot more lemons if he just called himself “Christian John.”

  7. squatlo says:

    Mooner, I am honored that you chose my site to pilfer from. Rest assured, it was probably pre-pilfered shit you stole. Like the scene in Lonesome Dove when Gus and Woodrow cross the Rio Grande to steal horses from a horse thief. If we branded ’em every time they changed hands they’d be cooked well-done before anyone put a saddle on ’em!

    Careful with that Colfax guy, he’s resilient as hell…

  8. admin says:

    Katy. Thanks for tuning in. I’m not wasting my time to watch the big speech. I think the Prez will save his best efforts until after he has a single opponant. Anybody watching needs to click over to Katy’s place and catch a truely unique perspective.

    Granny. Anytime someone uses his faith to quantiry his honesty I turn and walk away. The biggest crooks on Earth use piousness to steal. Allow me to say one thing- Holy Roman Catholic Church. I rest my case.

    Squat. Pilfer is my middle name, and sink peeing is my game. I had horse meat one time and actually liked it. But it was medium rare.

  9. Schuyler Colfax says:

    Many Thanks for the recognition, Mr. Johnson. I only wish it were on a forum that might catch on as reputable instead of barely lucid. I also have divined the “followers” here are much the same ditto heads as follow Squatlo’s Grunts …. and the Comedy Network. What a coincidence! I came to steal content …. but …. there IS none.

  10. admin says:

    Theo, er Schuyler. Why a man of your breeding would dain to waste his time on our band of ragamuffins is beyond my meager abilities to calculate. Were you seeking potential members for your Know-Nothing Party?

    Coincidence is my middle name and innane banalities my game.

  11. Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better!
    Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate!
    He always kept talking about this. I will forward this page to him.
    Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

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