Mooner Decapitalizes Religion; Why Are We Still Fighting For Equal Rights?


So. In big news today, the Pope has declared that Cuba should loosen it’s grip on peoples’ lives and the far right-wing christian fuckballs are now proven to be behind attempts to disenfranchise Black and Hispanic Americans from Democracy using gay rights as their weapon of choice. One of the silly “save marriage for christian heterosexuals” groups has been outed as waging war on gay people, and using gay people to provoke other minorities.

Of course, I’m assuming that gays really are a minority. I’m also starting to think that half of these religious zealots are actually gay people (here you need to think Dr. Marcus Bachmann for reference) who are ashamed of their true selves. I’m getting a new anti-anti-abortion sign made. One side will have my tried and true “A Woman’s Right To Choose Is Sacred” and on the other it’ll say “I’m Not Gay But I wish I Were”[.] Maybe I should say “…But I Wish I Was” since so many of those super christian cracker heads are somewhat thick.

And you know what, for me it’s now the pope, in lower-case from now on. Two-faced greedy fucking priest-rapist-protecting frilly dress wearing shitwad catholic asshole. How dare he call Cuba’s government oppressive when he himself oppressively governs over more human beings than have ever even inhabited Cuber. The holy roman catholic church has murdered, assassinated and burned at the stake more humans in their history than died in WWII—my conservative estimate. And they use the fear of god to wield their power like cannons.

Two-faced asshole pope.

And this shit down to Floriduh with the kid, murdered by a racist because he was Black, and how the right wingers are now attacking the kid’s character to justify it. Kid might have been an ax murderer for all I know, but the racist cop wannabe killed him in cold fucking blood because he was Black. Why would any man with a clear conscience want to try to make this kid look deserving to be murdered?

Wouldn’t it be nice if these topics weren’t on our minds. Wouldn’t it be nice to not have racism, human rights and religious hypocrisy at the forefront of the news? It’s 2012, for shitsakes. Why are we having to fight for funding for public schools? Why has the leading Republican Presidential candidate spent years killing American jobs for his own profit and calling it good for America?

I’d much rather be focusing my attentions onto feeding hungry people, being a good father to the menagerie of pets I husband, and rubbing my body parts on the body parts of a certain Special Agent In-Charge, US Department of Homeland Security.

SAC Ellen has been out of town so much lately that I’m getting some serious “squint” lines around my eyes. I’ve been forced to take matters into my own hands so often it looks like I have undertaken a hostile takeover of the company that makes Ivory Soap. I had to have the sink drain snake cleaned yesterday because of excess Ivory Soap residue inside the pipes.

Ugh. I’m sick of this shit. Maybe I need some mood-enhancements. Manana, y’all.

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8 Responses to “Mooner Decapitalizes Religion; Why Are We Still Fighting For Equal Rights?”

  1. If we can have Jews for Jesus, why can’t we have “heteros for same sex marriage?”

    Said it before, and I’ll say it again. If we have to suffer through marriage, divorce, alimony and more, everyone should be able to. Let’s all suffer together!

  2. Katy Anders says:

    The Roman Catholic Church will end up being the LAST institution in the industrialized world to accept gay marriage. My home state of Texas will legalize it before the Vatican quits screaming about it.

    Mississippi will legalize it before then, and Mississippi only took slavery off the books in 1992!

    It’s hard for me t believe that the Church has such an interest in the shape of my spouse’s genitals, but… Who am I to question GOD? This theology was written by Origen (who castrated himself), Tertullian (who said he wished he would have), Paul (who said Gentiles didn’t need to get circumcised but then had his friend Timothy circumcise him anyway – look up how that would have involved in the year 65).

    Weird sex things going on in these religious folks’ heads.

    Way weirder than anything going on in my bedroom.

  3. mel says:

    Hello Pot…its Kettle. Are you kidding me right now? I haven’t been paying attention to the news this week because I have so much going on, so I am getting it from you. Is that scary?

    And you just need to get laid. That is all. But you knew that. As many a high school gym teacher has said, walk it off.

    xoxo (virtual love coming your way…does that help at all??)

  4. admin says:

    Brandini. What you are suggesting is equal rights and you have a thoughtful premise in foundation. But these silly shits are too greedy to share anything, even their miseries.

    Katy. Didn’t I read that in the early years a man was circumcised by having his gay lover chew-off his little hoodie. I guess hoodies were as scary back then as they seem to be down to Floriduh today. Maybe the rumors about old Paul and Timmy were true.

    Maybe it will help us all to know exactly what does go on in your bedroom. I’m big on research and results.

    Mel. If I’m your news source then I might suggest you get some additional psycho therapy. I can get you a referral. BTW, does the virtual love include pictures?

  5. mel says:

    Well, I’m not very cute right now as I am coming out of anesthesia, but maybe next time.

  6. squatlo says:

    Mooner, you oughta visit Tennessee right now. Not for the glorious spring that’s abloom, but for the sanctified assholes who are going bloomin’ nuts at the state capitol. Yesterday they decided to move a measure to the full house floor for a vote on whether or not to criminalize baggy saggy pants. True shit, there. Saggy pants convicts packing our prisons any day now… where they won’t have to worry about saggy pants.

    They’re also passing a measure to make sure (inhale) school kids can pray or discuss religion with impunity, regardless of the subject matter on the teacher’s syllabus. I think I could have filibustered my way out of algebra II with that law… just bring up evolution instead of prime numbers and wait out the clock.

    They’re also working to see that our state’s university system’s clubs and organizations can legally discriminate against those they disagree with or don’t want as members. Vanderbilt, a gilded GOP infested cesspool of righties, has this Christian club on campus that decided it didn’t want to allow atheists or Muslims or gays as members. Fine, it’s a private university, and they can work that out with Daddy’s Dollars anyway they want. But because it caused a controversy that made the papers (and made Christian conservatives write letters to the editor in capital letters with lots of exclamation marks) the GOPers in our state legislature want to pass a law making it illegal for a university or college to tell student organizations THAT THOSE UNIVERSITIES AND COLLEGES FUND who they can and can’t discriminate against. If a gay kid wants to join the Jesus Loves Me Volunteer Club (made that one up, but it probably already has a charter) they can tell him to fuck off (in Biblical terms, “Goeth Away, Sodomite!”) and continue to use taxpayer funds to pay for their Kool-ade functions.

    The good news for the job situation up here is that they’ve tabled a measure to keep coal mining companies from blowing the tops off of our mountains, meaning all 375 people employed in that enterprize in Tennessee can stop worrying about their jobs. Of course, the 750,000 Tennesseans currently employed in tourism related businesses are probably out of luck, but hey, maybe tourists ought to have better lobbyists like extraction industries.

    Saw a vid clip of The Pope and Castro having a chit-chat, and I never knew fossils could be so animated. You could almost hear them wheezing away at one another in Spanish/Latin/German. “Vee haff vays uff mecking people behave!” “?Que?”

  7. Father-of-the-Year Nominee, Mooner Johnson says:

    Mel. Since I’m always coming off of something, your stoned photos will fill my bill.

    Squat. Funny how your backward state and mine are so terribly fucking alike. Why, if I didn’t know any better I’d think we shared a gene pool. Oopsie, we do! You just had to send those fuckers to save us from the Mexicans. I have to endure the savagery of your cast-off idiots here in Texas and my Carta Blanca beer requires me to pay an import tax. I could do without both.

    In typical fashion, the GOP in Tenn has found a way to fuck jobs and the working man, ruin giant patches of pristine land, and help their already rich buddies get even more money. Sounds like a plan they need to take to the national stage.

    Ooops, again.

  8. mel says:

    I can’t find the camera button on my phone. I will have one taken of me tomorrow when I get my toes prettified. K?

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