So. This is just a quickie bitch about yesterday. Two news items from yesterday caught my ADHD-addled brain and stuck like a sharp-barbed treble hook. I’ve tried to shake them out of my head but can’t, and I’m hoping that writing them here will allow me to free my brain for more important thoughts.
Thoughts like the sex dreams I used to have about Bella Abzug. I heard her speak when I was young and was impressed her words and her face. Katy, from over to Lesbians In My Soup, did a story about what makes a beautiful face and her words struck the flimsy chords that serve as my memory. I thought of Mz. Bella and those dreams. You need to go to Katy’s place and check her out—she’s a mighty good read.
I could also be thinking about the wedding planning for the pending nuptials here to the Johnson family ranch or I could worry and obsess more about my weather-torn garden. But alas, the state of North Carolina has grabbed brain cells and won’t shake loose. For, you see, the fine people of North Carolina passed a strong anti-gay man/woman marriage dealie yesterday and when I read that in my newspaper I thought to myself, I thought, “What kind of person would favor that sort of stupid legislation?”
I was reading the paper early and while on the crapper so I had only myself to ask, and was spared the pain of having Mother read the story to us all at the breakfast table while she’d gloat. My mother is a gloater.
I’m looking at the other stories and unable to focus because the question is stuck in my head—who would favor that legislation? What kind of people populate North Carolina in the majority who have that kind of idiocy?
I finished my business and was lowering the newspaper to exchange it for rolled, perforated paper when the second article caught my eyes. “North Carolina man straps children to hood of car for ride home from liquor store” was the headline.
Now me, if there is actually a capital-G God, this was that God speaking directly to me. I might have actually heard his booming basso profundo, its rich tones sonorous and commanding. God said, “Mooner Johnson, my child, you seeketh knowledge and I have laid it unto your eyes. Behold the Truth, my son, as I am want to admit my plan got all fucked up over to North Carolina. Can you believe that many assholes can congregate within the borders of one tiny state?”
“Well, God,” I’d answer, “it isn’t your fault. But doesn’t it piss you off that they blame you for their immoral and ignorant acts?”
“Truly it does, Mooner, and they shall pay. Heaven and Hell are interchangeable destinations, dude, and have I got a program for assholes.”
I doubt God would disclose His plans for assholes but that just gives me something to think about. And hey—God called me dude. Manana, y’all.