Tuesday Blues; Welcome To Fascistland


So. It’s Tuesday and I just got another call from Mother asking if she can come home. She refused to attend the Limbaugh/Perry gay wedding last week so I banished her from the ranch for all of the attendant wedding affairs. That was last week and the threads that connect “wedding affairs” to reality are getting pretty thin.

At breakfast this morning I asked the few others seated around the big table if they were ready to have Mother back among us. They mumbled and grumbled a bit but nobody said anything decipherable. “Well, OK then,” I told them. “Looks like the main activity on today’s calendar will be the Official Limbaugh/Perry Wedding Fishing Trip, sponsored by Carta Blanca beer.”

“Rick Perry does love when you take him fishing, Mooner. Do you think the newlyweds will go while they’re in Costa Rica?”

That was Mr. Dave, the giant-peckered old geezer I hired to service the older ladies of Mooner Manor. “I doubt it, Mr. Dave. Rush Limbaugh has been sex starved for over a month. Me, I’m guessing that Rick Perry will be lucky to see anything but the paint of their hotel room.”

I realized that I had sent all the women but my mother to Costa Rica to oversee the honeymoon and Mother was sent to a hotel over to town. I offered to fly Mr. Dave down to Central America or put him up with Mother in her hotel, either one. He said to me, he said, “Oh, that’s a lovely offer, sir, but I think I’ll spend the time with you and the dogs. I find I’m missing the sound of voices not coming from the mouth of a Johnson woman.”

I didn’t tell him that he had just voiced the main reason he was hired, I simply said in reply, “You stick with me, Mr. Dave. We’ll get you recharged and ready to go. How about we go cut us some calves?”

Mr. Dave isn’t much of a ranch hand. Man pukes when you hand him the big curved blade we use to cut the balls off young bulls—well, that’s what we Texans call a clue. I was talking to the Squirt about it last night and she said it might be because Mr. Dave’s pecker is about the same size as the 400-pound bulls carry. “You’d be queezy yourself, Bwana Mooner, if you were packing the heat same as Mr. Dave.”

Maybe, I thought. “Might also be perspectives, little lady. I was cutting cows before I knew that my pecker was good for more than the one thing, so I never had the mind to do a side-by-side with the little bulls. Mr. Dave was city raised and likely has a city boy’s stomach.”

And that reminds me. Can you believe the fucking US Supreme Court? What part of “not a political body” is so confusing to them. I am embarrassed to tell you that I didn’t think George W. Bush would screw things up too badly as president—I thought he was too dumb to make much trouble. But the justices he put there have formed a coalition that has sent civil rights back at least a hundred years.

A state government can now authorize agents to demand that you prove your citizenship at any time they wish. My thoughts are that to keep from appearing to use profiling with this power, they will start making the demand on people just for the sake of it. As a white American male, I will not prove my citizenship to you, motherfuckers, and I dare you to try to make me. I don’t expect people of color to resist this but I’m asking every white person in the country to stand with me on this one. This isn’t Nazi fucking Germany or Cold War Russia, for shitsakes.

Or is it? I mean really, what’s the difference? Corporations and single rich donors can put as much money behind a candidate as they want, so every elected public official office in the entire fucking country is for sale, we can harass and bully non-whites for no reason, we are legislating control of womens’ bodies, and we are creating the economic environment that imitates a wealthy, ruling class society.

When we speak of Pakistan or Malaysia, we call countries with those attributes “Third World” countries. We are denying our citizens health care and quality public education; we have stripped the funding for support services for the poor; we have sent much of a generation off to fight two brutal, winless wars because of economics and now we deny the returning veterans proper health care to fix their damaged bodies and minds.

Oh, and our greedy financiers almost bankrupted the entire fucking globe while they were gone to war and killed the job market. Many vets have returned to little, or no, employment options.

Ugh. Fucking ugh! Mother fucking ugh!!!

Maybe New Mexico isn’t far enough away to escape the oppression of America’s right-wing Christian conservative idiocy.

America doesn’t need to worry about international terrorists taking our country down. We’re ruining it just fine all by ourselves. I have a buddy who thinks that this might be the time that is The End of Days. If America falls into a fascist state all of civilization will follow.

“And the Ted Nugent’s shall inherit the Earth.”

Fuck it. I promised a fishing trip and we’re going fishing. Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “Tuesday Blues; Welcome To Fascistland”

  1. squatlo says:

    With all of the drama taking place at Compound Mooner I doubt you had time to watch Rachel Maddow’s show last night. If you did, I apologize for the following recap… but at one point in the program she had a segment on Montana state law which prohibits (or did, until the Soupreems stepped in and reminded everyone that their Citizens United States of America applied to all fifty states, and not just the blue ones) corporations and billionaires from funding their state election campaigns. It was a remarkable thing, because she had Rep. Tester on as a guest, and he’s being assaulted by millions of dollars of out of state money in his reelection bid.
    There aren’t enough billionaire Democrats willing to play dirty to match their lucre, and the fat cats know it. The SCOTUS (sounds like scrotum, to me, only the average scrotum has fewer wrinkles and more hair) would remind us that organized labor is ALSO free to contribute unlimited amounts of money to dirty campaigns. But what they won’t admit is that they and their merchants of evil in the state legislatures around America are busily making it impossible for unions to attract new members or contribute their dues money toward campaigns or candidates. In one state they’re actually making it a requirement that unions get individual permission from each member before their collected dues money can be employed in political campaigns. Imagine THAT logistical nightmare, since every single signed document would have to be verified and survive court challenges.
    We’re pretty much fucked as long as Scalia, Thomas, Roberts, and Alito are living members of the court. Can’t recall them, can’t vote them out, can’t do anything but wait on old age and infirmity to thin out the warmongers and corporate cronies.
    And some of those dudes look like they’re in it for the long haul.


  2. Father-of-the-Year Nominee, Mooner Johnson says:

    Squat. This shit makes me want to puke. Another difference between those fuckers and a scrotum is that the dick attached to a scrotum is connected to a heart. The dicks of the SCOTUS are heartless right-wing shitballs.

    At least Senator Hatch won a small victory over the extremists in his party. How fucking sick is it that I was rooting for that old fart because he was the most sensible candidate in his race?

  3. squatlo says:

    I’m afraid we’re stuck with the four of them, Mooner. Justice Kennedy might be the only hope for keeping some sort of balance on the court. If he were to step down and Obama could nominate a thoughtful individual who could see past party lines (and I consider the women on the court to be of that ilk) we might have a chance at progress. But none of the zealots will resign during a Democratic term in the White House, that’s for sure.

  4. Sherry says:

    Some day you should escort Mother Johnson to my blog so that she can read how my elderly and infirm clients are being treated by their offspring. Then you need to remind her that these families I’m so angry about are your fine, upstanding, church going, Tea Party Patriots who seem to think that dear old Mom or Dad are quite fine without their care because, doncha know,
    “we don’t owe our parents anything.” Especially when it costs money in lieu of time and attention. Then you could ask her if it wasn’t Phyllis Diller who said to “be kind to your kids, they pick your nursing home.” Should oughta shut her mouth for at least 5 seconds.

    And I’m so all fired angry at the economic situation, the Soopreem Court, the Do nothing Congress, the vets returning to bad care and the infernal good for nothing VA system that I’m about to drop dead from a stroke. Maybe it’s the heat. Who knows?

    And yes, I do exaggerate some. Just some though.

  5. Father-of-the-Year Nominee, Mooner Johnson says:

    Sherry. First, thanks for stopping by. Second, I find nothing sexier than a woman with her rankles all fired up, and I find myself seeing too many angry women these days. Women in America are under attack and that fires my rankles like crazy. Thank goodness the Judges upheald health care. To have voided that Act would have been another blow to women and their families.

    I planned to head over to your place in a few minutes but you left no linkster. Hook me up, Mon Sherry, and I’ll come to visit. Mother needs all the enlightenment I can provide.

  6. Sherry says:

    Well, I guess forgetting the linky is a symptom of toofruckingangrytothinkstraight. Now there’s a disease we all seem to have a tad bit of. Mother Johnson should get a real big “Well I never” reaction from this one. http://luckyfrogs.blogspot.com/2012/06/actuality-of-conservatives.html I’m going back to my meditatin’ corner. I believe I need to breathe for awhile.

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