An Eagle Almost Landed, Or, “Hello, Boy Scouts, Reality Calling”


So. I’m pissed. Major League, big time pissed. The Boy Scouts of America has continued to run any openly homosexual member or employee ceremoniously out their doors. That’s right, if you are openly gay, you can’t be affiliated with the Boy Scouts and they are more than happy to announce it to the entire fucking world. I’m so pissed about this that I have written to them, as follows:


Mr. Wayne M. Perry

President, Boy Scouts of America

1325 Walnut Hill Drive

Irving, Texas 75015


Dear Mr. Perry,


I am writing you as a former Boy Scout—a Life Scout who quit Boy Scouts with 23 merit badges and lacking only the completion of my community service project to become an eagle scout. The reason I quit is because my adult Scout Leader raped me at aquatics camp on the night of my thirteenth birthday. He raped me after spending several years grooming me for that night. It was only after decades of psychotherapy that I came to realize just how much harm was done to me by that man. I also now know I likely had not truly earned my ranks and merits. How many boys have become Eagle Scouts before their fourteenth birthday? I now understand that this man groomed me—he maneuvered and manipulated me to gain my trust and to get me to like him.

Then he raped me. The rape changed me in ways you will never know unless you have suffered likewise. What he did was hideous and unconscionable. Were he alive I would prosecute him.

Having said this, you might think that I support your anti-gay policies. But you would be dead wrong. You see, Mr. Perry, the man who raped me wasn’t an openly gay, mentally sound scout leader. He was a pedophile, an animal who rapes children while hiding behind the veneer of respectability. He was a married father and a Deacon of the same Baptist Church that sponsored our Troop. He spouted religious platitudes like a preacher and he worked closely with his scouts’ parents. He was upstanding and well thought of, he was above reproach.

And he was a child molester, a pedophile. A monster. He was a rapist and he was sanctioned by The Boy Scouts of America. Except for the pedophilia, he was your model leader, Mr. Perry, the kind of man you say you wish you had more of to lead young boys into adulthood.

That man is the sort of man you need to exclude from your organization, Mr. Perry, not proud openly gay men. It isn’t openly gay men raping children, sir, and it isn’t openly gay scouts turning their fellow scouts homosexual. It is rather the deviants in your midst who prey on young children. The rapists in your organization will not openly identify and mark themselves with a red “H” on their foreheads. No sir, Mr. Perry, your rapists are cloaked in capes adorned with the medals of Christian platitude and living “model” lives outside Scouting.

Use you head, sir, and stop reacting politically. It’s time you pull your head out of your ass, scrub it down and do something smart. Do the right thing and stop persecuting some of America’s finest men.

Me, I never thought that your organization was responsible for my getting raped by your fully sanctioned and authorized leader. I, maybe mistakenly, thought that you only had my best interest at heart. But I might be wrong, Mr. Perry. Maybe just like the Holy Roman Catholic Church, you have taken the road to punish the innocent rather than truly fix your problem with child rapists. Maybe you are no different from the Pope and you care more for your institution than you do for your charges.

Should you decide to change these stupid and useless policies against gay men, I applaud you, sir. Should you not, then please allow me to say, “Fuck you, asshole.”




Mooner Johnson, Life Scout (retired)


Manana, y’all.

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6 Responses to “An Eagle Almost Landed, Or, “Hello, Boy Scouts, Reality Calling””

  1. squatlo says:

    Well said, Mooner! I think you could have saved a lot of ink and gray matter if you’d just used the “fuck you, asshole” line, but at least now he knows why you’re pissed.

  2. Parttime Texan, Mooner Johnson says:

    Squat. Hopefully I will at least get a response that isn’t institutional pablum.

  3. Katy Anders says:

    The problem is, I think, that the jig is up. Mom, God, flag, and apple pie are crumbling before our eyes. Richard Nixon, Jim Bakker, Enron, pedophile priests.

    And the system’s running out of deviants and outsiders to blame it on.

    If it turns out that gays and Muslims and poor people are basically as decent as any other American, then that’s it. Game over.

    So the folks who have benefited from the traditional games are really making their stand right now. Gays and Muslims and poor people! They’re the ones who have been ruining everything all along!

    Great letter. It won’t help. At least it won’t help until a suitable replacement scapegoat is found.

  4. Parttime Texan, Mooner Johnson says:

    Katy. I sometimes hate when you are right. Incredible as it seems, bias is stronger than truth when when the beleif system is fantasy-based. I’ve more to say about this shit manana.

  5. bj says:

    Another hearty FUCK YOU (!) to yet another Texan named “Perry”. Are ALL the Texas Perrys lamebrains? My ex-Brother-In-Law is Gay and he actually DID make Eagle Scout. As a matter of fact MOST of his troop was Gay, as was the Troop Leader way back in the early 70’s here in progressive Murf’burr! I met several of the fellas and they were all nice kids, and were having big fun with the camaraderie of being Scouts. The Troop Leader was a little creepy, though. That shit came to a screeching halt about 1979 after accusations were made (probably by my ex-Father-In-Law …. he never would own up to it) and the Troop was disbanded …. If I remember correctly, the Troop Leader did some time behind those accusations too; here in progressive Murf’burr.
    Elton John was on NPR today espousing his Aids Foundation and he took a little time to castigate Mr. Perry and “Religious Groups” for their stance on Homosexuality, stating that they were no more “Religious” than Adolph Hitler. Great Listen if you get the chance. I may have to slide Sir Elton back on my favorites list. Homosexuals are just one more minority group being discriminated against at every turn … and Katy’s right about running out of folks who are different to blame it on.
    Great Letter and I hope you get a response that can be posted.

  6. admin says:

    Beej. Thanks for your support. I hope I get something back in response, but I’m not holding my breath. I went to the Post Office to send it Special D, and the nice lady, whose pension is already funded for the year 3000, told me that she had placed $2.40 of postage on quite a few letters to BSA headquarters.

    I’m guessing that the cards and letters are pouring in up there and that the likes of mine won’t be acted upon anytime soon.

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