So. I’ve finally let Mother’s cat out of the bag and I cannot even begin to tell you how good it feels. To share with you Mother Johnson’s trip down Memory Loss Lane has freed me in ways I hadn’t realized. Most importantly is freedom from censure and censorship. I don’t like bridled truths because real truth is unbridled. If I’m going to talk about anything, I want to be able to talk about that anything’s anythings.
It’ll take a moment, but that made perfect sense.
See, when I started this stupid fucking bloggie dealio, I promised that I would be full disclosure on all things except the children I have with Dr. Sam I. Am-Johnson. I only made that promise to Sammie to save myself from a/an extended stay/stays over to the Loony Bin at Shoal Creek Mental Hospital. My lovely first ex-wife’s precise words were, “If you do anything to draw unwanted attention to our children, Mooner Einstein Johnson, I’ll lock your ass so deep into the bowels of The System you’ll never again see the light of day.”
I wonder how she learned to speak so properly and not dangle her modifiers or prepositions. I would have said, “… you’ll never see the light of day again.”
She was right, Dr. Know It All, and I’m glad that I’ve kept my kids off limits to the blathering. I don’t have a need to disclose anything about my children because I don’t say anything about them. But when Mother asked me to secret her memory losses from you, I didn’t feel right about it. Not because the landlord of my initial Earthly home has become a bigoted old gas bag and I want to make fun of her in all ways possible, but rather from, again, the full disclosure perspectives.
How can I fully-disclose my life without fully disclosing it? How can I address my life with my mother and withhold her dementia?
It’s like the fucking Republican lawmakers back East to Washington in the D.C. Yesterday, the Congressional Budget Office—those stalwart non-partisan bookkeepers for the US Congress—announced that the Affordable Health Care Act, aka Obamacare, would actually SAVE about $84 billion. That’s right, folks, a bunch of accountants with no political ties or agenda have said that not only will all Americans be afforded top notch health care, that in the act of providing that care we will also save $Billions in debt!
Affordable health care for all Americans saves all Americans money. Me, I say, “Yippy-Skippy and a Hip-Hip-Hooray!!!”
The Republicans, however, responded with their typical fuzzy mathematics to make a misguided and decidedly stupid point. Ignoring facts and hiding realities, they continue to snark about this Bill. “It’ll cost $Trillions,” said Speaker of the House Johnny “Does My Skin Match My Cleveland Browns Cap Yet” Boehner.
How can these assholes sell that load of non-disclosed bullshit? Who, inthefuck, is buying it? And they say they are Christians, for shitsakes. Christians? Really?
They can’t even help their neighbors with health care and save the entire country billions of dollars because they hate our first black President so thoroughly. And don’t you even start to tell me that Obama’s skin color doesn’t matter to the likes of Cantor and Romney and Limbaugh and Beck. Do not even start!
I thought the fucking Dark Ages were over. I thought the days of persecuting people for their thoughts or who they are was history. Patricia, from over to Polygon Blog has asked if maybe we should bring back the Stocks. You remember the Stocks, right? It’s that dealie where an offending person would be seated with arms and legs sticking through holes in a wooden platform and made to sit for days.
Oh, and Patricia, darling, why can’t I comment using my name and URL? I don’t have any of that other shit to use as ID for a comment. I spent thirty minutes this am writing a thoughtful and clever response to your “Stocks” posting and then discovered that I can’t comment thereto.
Thereon, maybe? Wait, might it would be therewith? Am I dangling shit again? Whateverthefuck, I was really bothered, from the intrinsic perspectives, by hiding Mother’s fast creeping dementia. I was forced to not tell you when she was acting like a true Christian woman because the only times she acts it are those times when she forgets that she became a right-wing bigoted asshole.
And that is the foundation for what I want to say today. Why is it that when my mother forgets things, she forgets to be a bigot? Why is she forgetting to hate people just because they are gay or Muslim or liberal? Why is she forgetting that she thinks that abortion is a choice to be made by politicians? Does that mean that her bigotry was learned or taught and not truly her thoughts?
I have always wondered at Mother’s views on abortion. See, my mother didn’t want a third child when the third seed sprouted in her womb. I guess that Sister and me were burden enough. So she starved herself until she miscarried, what we might call a do-it-yourself abortion.
I could never understand how she can now oppose a safe medical procedure when she spent sixty days starving a fetus she had already carried almost three months. If abortions had been legal when she got preggers that third time would she have had a medical procedure instead?
The Squirt and I took her to her brain doctor yesterday afternoon for a checkup on her short term memory. It wasn’t good. Twice she asked me where we were going in the car on the way, and she likewise had to ask me twice if I minded taking her. Her doctor told us that she thinks Mother’s dementia is fast-paced and was inherited from her mother, my grandmother who was murdered. I told the doc that Grandma was sharp as a tack at a ripe old age and she told me it didn’t matter. “Your mother’s dementia looks genetic in nature. A family sort of thing.”
“Huh?” I asked. “You’re saying this is an inherited malady?”
“Yes sir, Mr. Johnson, and it likely doesn’t skip any generations.”
Fuck me running.
I need a Carta Blanca beer. Manana, y’all.