Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

According to Dr. Sam I. Am-Johnson, “Psychotherapist to Central Texas Elite” as named by the Austin American Statesman, ADHD is perhaps the most misunderstood and improperly diagnosed malady of all mental health issues.

“Attention Deficit, as a diagnosis, is not nomenclature designed to classify hyperactive, unruly children but it rather serves to distinguish individuals who demonstrate remarkable levels of the diagnostic symptoms. Those high levels may not be explained by diet or physical illness as a causation factor, nor can you diagnose ADHD in situations wherein a child has no parental discipline or guidance,” states Dr. Am-Johnson.

She continues, “True sufferers of ADHD will experience a variety of interruptions to their thought processes not experienced by persons not afflicted. Mooner Johnson has the worst case of ADHD symptoms ever recorded using modern diagnostic tools. Mooner’s illness is significant enough to have caused multiple instances of lengthy stays at a mental institution for treatment, rest and recovery.

“I have treated Mooner Johnson as his psychotherapist for thirty years and I will tell you that he is harmless to all but himself but he truely is crazy. Since this dissertation is in the context of Mooner’s blog and books, let me provide his readers with some simple insights to assist in finding some relief from his many distractions. Mooner Johnson has been clinically tested to have as many as twenty concurrent active front-brain thought events in a single one-second brainwave test. Since our electronics are maxed out at twenty simultaneous events, it is possible, even likely, that Mr. Johnson can carry a heavier load than twenty.

“However, due to the Obsessive/Compulsive diagnosis that accompanies his ADHD, Mooner can usually return to any line of thought regardless of the strength of his digressions. Just hang in there with him because if you can fight your way through enough of his distractions, you just might catch a glimpse of something special.”

Then she added, “But do not fall for his boyish charms or whatever the hell it is that attracts us women to him. Do not date Mooner Johnson- he is dangerous to nice women.”

And now a rebuttal from Mooner Johnson:

“Bitch.”

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