Archive for the ‘Rainforest Partnership’ Category

Rainforest Partnership Might Be OK; Matt Damon Is Not Corporate

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

OK. Now that I’ve got you guys helping me with my logo design contest over to 99designs, we can start to deal with my other problems. I know that you know that Dixie is writing a children’s book and asked me to do her research on what layout would be best for her book. I don’t know why she won’t do it herself and just go talk to some kids, but she’s like most all of the women in my life. Pushy, ornery, stubborn and ultimately- lovable.

Women and me (I?) are an interesting puzzle that neither has seemed to solve. And don’t try to tell me that the me/I question I just asked has a simple answer.

Anyway, I told you about going to the B&N bookstore that’s near my favorite Sprouts store and spending some time doing research yesterday. On my visit to Sprouts early this morning, I picked-up some lamb ribs and beef liver that I’m going to serve at tonight’s Johnson Family BBQ. I got my food and packed it on ice because I had an appointment down to the Moonshine Grill- you know there to Red River near the Convention Center.

I was meeting Maia for lunch to talk about her new internship at the Rainforest Partnership. I was also meeting Maia to meet Maia since I had never met her before. Maia is the daughter of my buddy up to Dallas and I’m glad that I’m firmly settled into my relationship with SAC Ellen, because Maia has all of the charms I hold sacred in a woman.

She’s smart, cares about the environment, is a hard worker, she’s interested and interesting, knows how to laugh and she has the extra benefit of being cute as a button. The reason I’m glad that I’m with SAC Ellen is that I have already ruined enough friendships with my passes at somebody’s daughter. Daughters. There was this one time with my auto mechanic who has twin daughters, and he is now my ex auto mechanic.

Then there’s the other whole thing about me being quite happy with the SACster and unwilling to do anything to screw that up. On purpose.

But I’m already digressing. The ADHD is on the fritz so I might wander a touch. On my way to meet Maia for lunch I started thinking about how to cook the liver. The lamb ribs are easy- rub with olive oil, season with chunky-ground salt and pepper and grill. But the liver is another whole dealie- should I braise it first and then grill it for a little smoke and char, or should I just marinate it and then fire it up. I missed my turn and was halfway to Dripping Springs before my brain latched to the hinges of here and now.

Have you ever thought of how many different marinades you can use on fresh liver?

Anyway, Maia is a student at Texas State University down to San Marcos, the same place where one of my boys graduated. She wants to be involved in environmental issues as a life career, as well as her life choices, and that makes her OK in my book. She called me for some strange reason to see if I could help her with some ideas.

I agreed to meet her because her daddy asked me to and because she is an environmentalist and interning at an organization about which I am clueless. And also because I am still looking for a good cause who is not too embarrassed by me to want to link-up together with me for a share of my profits.

Wait, that’s not entirely true. I know much about rain forests but little about Rainforest Partnership. And what about this- am I looking for a cause who wants to link with me, a cause that wants to link, or a cause which wants to link? I can run that train over each of the three grammatical rules tracks and find my destination.

When you have ADHD like the variety that infects my brain, you can find reasons to apply any and all rules.

So. Maia is going to be doing corporate sponsorship stuff for the RP and she thought that maybe I could help. I told her that most of my experiences with the corporate types usually end in a lawsuit or a visit to jail. Or a stay to the loonie bin. But I am a good poker player so I thought I might have some good corporate guy tells for her.

“Look,” I told her. “Your corporate sponsor types will only get involved on two conditions. The first would be if one of the high muck-d-mucks in a company favors your cause as a human person in his/her personal life. You know, like Matt Damon and the clean water issue, except that Matt Damon isn’t corporate in any way.” I then went on to tell her that since many corporate types are Baptist Republican shitballs and not real humans, she might want to concentrate on the second condition.

Now that’s not to say that America is not populated with some corporate types who managed to climb the ladder with their souls intact. It’s just that the ones of that breed who have made it to the top have likely been previously snatched away by already established causes. Like Matt Damon.

Going strictly on my personal experience, many of those other guys sold their souls to climb the ladder to the top. That or they didn’t use the ladder, and instead made their way to the top by building the tallest pile of co-worker corpses so they could stand on top and grab the brass ring.

I don’t like companies that build their success on the burned-out bodies of their current, and former, employees. Back to the seventies that was the very definition of a Fast Track Homebuilder.

Again, I’m certain that many of those corporate guys have good hearts and an unsold soul that still remains mostly outside the Devil’s reach.

Please tell me that all made sense.

So, assuming condition one goes unmet, condition number two is that you need to find a way to make your charity and/or cause interesting to the corporate types. When I asked Maia how you can make your cause interesting to a corporate type she said, “Find a way to show them a benefit they can gain if they work with us.”

Told you she was smart.

Then we brainstormed some ideas, an endeavor my ADHD-addled mind can handle with ease. When I can get each of my many thoughts focused upon one central theme, I’m a one-man stormed brain. My only problems with brainstorming are getting my hundreds of ideas verbalized and giving the other stormers a chance to speak in a 15-minute session.

Oh yea, and there would be the problem of my digressions.

When I asked Maia if the Rainforest Partnership would be interested in cross-pollinating with my webber and bloggie by linking-up, she got this weird look on her face that I am most familiar with.

I hate that look. It means, “Mooner Johnson is crazy and I am unsure how to tell him No.”

My only hope to get cross-linking from the Rainforest Partnership guys is if Maia gets desperate for sponsorship options and I get what I want as someone’s last option. That doesn’t bother me at all. I mean I don’t wish her to be frustrated but I will rush in to fill the gap.

It’s like my Gram always says. She’ll say, “Who gives a shit, Mooner, long as ya git what-cha was wantin.”

Anyway, I had quite the experience over to the Barnes and Noble store. I’ll tell you later after I review and comment on the 20 new design submittals I have for my logo contest over to 99designs. Please log on to 99designs and help me judge this contest.

Pretty please.

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