So. Just when I thought there would be no “Thanks” in my Thanksgiving, a jury right here in Austin, Texas gave me the gift of Joy.
“Tiny” Tom DeLay, corrupt Texas politician and the stiff-legged right wing male twin to current Dancing With The Stars two-left-footer Bristol Palin, was convicted of money laundering, and conspiracy to money launder, by a Travis County jury late yesterday.
As I watched the little of Tiny Tom’s DWTS performances I took time to view, I knew in my heart that his appearance there was to humanize his image in advance of his trial. In hopes to sway potential jurors, the little man danced his heart out.
The boy’s problem is that he lacks a soul, and we all know that great dancers must have soul.
I want to now express my thanks to what I am thankful for on this glorious day. My family and friends, of course, and all of my many dedicated employees; the publishing industry professionals who love written words; crazy people, without whom the world would be a sharply duller place; and the great American System of Justice, Travis County branch.
Thank you, Travis County Jury, for showing Tiny Tom DeLay what a good fucking feels like.
Now let’s drink our Carta Blanca beer but don’t drive, and enjoy this terrific day. Manana, y’all.
PS– I can’t wait to hear how Rush Limbaugh and the rest of those right-wing religious fuckballs try to spin this one. Hoooooo-yaaaa!